Date: Sat, 25 Jun 1994 21:03:43 -0700 (PDT)
From: Joy Williams 
Subject: as Dee said 8-( *whimper*. my essay ist kaput! part 1
To: cawpagan-l@netcom.com

all rites reversed
(just ask me if ya quote me!)
4th Circle, Second Ring Essay for Scionization
My religious background; another religious background and NeoPaganism.

This essay has been a hard one for me, because my religious background
is so complex.  I have investigated many religions and explored many
paths, and will continue to do this.  Like the diet of a Hummingbird,
my religious background was characterized by many flowers of
experience, each offering its own nectar.  Some of these nectars have
been sweet indeed, some rather bitter, but all have contributed in
their diversity to bring me where I am today.  As I stand in the warm
fire of community of the Church of All Worlds, I am amazed at all of
those experiences which have molded my philosophies, my spirit and my
life.  These experiences were not merely my encounters with
"organized" religions, they were also the traveling I have done, the
significant people I have met in my life, and the abiding adoration I
have of the natural world which I have had since a young child.  The
experiences also include those "negative" learning experiences and the
mystical.  So just as "religio" means to"re-link" or "recconnect" my
background on this path of discovery is the web of my life and as I
write this I will be re-linking my experiences to understand the
dynamic, evolving, complex being that I am.  I feel that the concept
of this essay is a good one, for rarely, in most religious are
individuals invited to write about what they truly are and how they
came to being there.

Generic Protestantism and the military

I was brought up on various military bases, so the chapels I attended
had kind of generic Protestant services with somewhat fundamentalist
and traditional leanings.  They were primarily Baptist though
sometimes Methodist, Lutheran or others.  It quite honestly depended
on which base that we went to.  So I received quite a bland variety of
Church.  The theology that was taught was monotheistic, control and
punishment oriented, couched in phrases such as "Jesus Loves you" to
make the bitter pill of separating man from Earth and God a little
more palatable.  Sin was stressed....we were all "lowly sinners" in
the various ministers' eyes.  Since I was so young at most of these
services, they really did not have a lasting effect on m religiously
because I ended up attending a Presbyterian church when I was a young
teenager that was much more liberal and open minded, as well as
socially conscious.  However, at a very early age I had a problem with
the cosmology that was being taught to me at Sunday School.  Our
teacher was a fundamentalist Christian who insisted that the story of
the Garden of Eden in Genesis was to be taken literally.  My mother
had taught me that it was a "nice story" but that that was all it was,
and that it was created to give a primitive people an understanding of
their creation and a history, but now science was showing that
evolution was an integral part of the development of life on Earth.
So, when the teachers started insisting that the story was literal, I
challenged her on the concept of evolution, and repeated what my
mother had said about the Garden of Eden being a "nice story for
ignorant people."  As you can well imagine, that didn't go down very
well, and the teacher kicked me out of Sunday School for being
"disruptive."  It was one of my first real runcins with authority and
it showed me at a tender age that the fundamentalist Christian mindset
did not encourage free thought and inquiry, because it was a threat to
the authoritarian structure that the Church was built upon, though at
the age of six, I did not quite realize that at the time.  The
services in the military chapels revolved a lot around the concept of
"original sin" and a fear of punishment.  This was mainly the Baptist
influence that seemed prevalent in most of the Chapels, and I suspect
that this was done with the encouragement of the U.S. military to keep
the troops in check even on the spiritual level, since the whole
ideology of the military is based on obedience to the government
through "respect"/fear of authority and punishment and through fear of
ostracization and accusations of being "unpatriotic" if the rules are
not obeyed.  In this environment I learned that the fundamentalist
Christian religion is a monotheistic religion, based on the writings
of many men who were "spokesmen" for God/Yahweh.  The concept of
divinity that the Church had was that "HE" was transcendent and
presided over the world from Heaven, carefully watching mankind's
actions to see how often man broke Yahweh's rules.  Man was inherently
and originally sinful because of Eve's "sin" of eating the apple in
the Garden of Eden, and his purpose in life was to attain a state of
forgiveness and grace (which I interpret now to mean acceptance by
God) so that he might have a chance to know God in Heaven after death.
This could only be attained by believing that Jesus (Yeshua ben
Miriam) died for man's sins and that Jesus was God's only begotten son
and mankind's saviour.  Jesus was the one intermediary between God and
man who was truly compassionate and understanding and who preached a
message basically of love and truth, but it seemed that the ministers
in the Chapels only wanted to stress the fear of punishment and the
doctrine of guilt and hold out the love message as the carrot to
assuage the damaged consciences of the layity.  Of course the stories
I gravitated to at that age were the stories which were happy -- the
birth of Jesus and the manger story, the story of Jesus calling the
little children unto him and saying that one had to have the attitude
of a child to enter the kingdom of heaven (which I still like, but
understand in an entirely different way), the healing, acceptance and
love of the "fallen" woman Mari of the Magdalene, the good Samaritan
story, among others -- because these were the stories which were
life-affirming and dealt with love and wonder of creation.

My general impression of these services was one of confusion...on the
one hand were the stories of love and acceptance from Jesus, and on
the other were the stories of God's wrath and anger.  The other thing
that I could not deal with very well was the lack of interaction
between clergy and congregation.  The congregation just listened to
the sermon and they were not encouraged to inquire or participate in
discourse.  I was always encouraged by my mother to ask questions if I
did not understand something in school.  At that point I did not
realize that it was done this way purposefully to maintain the
separation between the clergy and the congregation thus maintaining
the concept that God was separate from man.  As for women, since their
Mother was the original sinner, it was especially crucial for them to
follow the rules, not question the ministers, and to be "good wives
and mothers."  The concept of the feminine in the divine was not even
entertained by these ministers.

Nature, like the feminine in the divine, was not even incorporated as
an integral part of the flow of life, except when the ministers
referred to "man's dominion over nature" and to the story of Jesus
cursing the fig tree for not producing fruit when he wanted it to.
This I had problems with as well, because I felt a deep reverence for
nature and hated pollution and degradation of the natural world.  So I
just rejected those stories as "stories for ignorant people."
=== 

Date: Sat, 25 Jun 1994 21:43:49 -0700 (PDT)
From: Joy Williams 
Subject: my essay part 2
To: cawpagan-l@netcom.com

Presbyterianism

Fortunately, when I was a young teenager I started to attend the
Presbyterian Church in Dale City, VA for quite awhile, and I learned a
new brand of Christianity that based its ministry more on right action
now than on a threat of punishment.  Our minister was a very liberal
and compassionate man, who tried to apply the stories of Jesus to
events that were current and how his theology could apply to our lives
now.

The Presbyterian Church is an offshoot of Calvinism and was one of the 
founding Protestant religions of the U.S.  It was first formed in 1557 by 
John Knox in Scotland, and first manifested in America in
 1706 in Philadelphia. fn1 

Leavey, Judith S. and A. Greenhall (eds.), A AConcise Columbia 
Encyclopedia, Columbia University Press, 1983, p. 688.  
The structure of the Church was one of the first Democratic systems in 
Protestantism and had a heavy influence on the development of the U.S. 
Government and the Constitution. Since the Presbyterian Church feels that 
education of its members is vital for all, they were one of the first 
institutions that promoted free education in America.  This influenced 
the structure of our current educational system whose curriculum is not 
controlled by the Church.  The concept of non-Sectarian schools 
strengthened the tenet of the separation of Church and State, weakening 
the control wielded by patriarchal/religious institutions in the West, 
and encouraging freedom of thought, expression, and philosophical 
exploration.

"Presbyter" means "elder", and reflects the process of the congregation 
electing elders to attend to the spiritual side of the religion.  Other 
temporal duties are attended to by similarily elected Deacons and 
Trustees.  The national Church is structured in a democratic hierarchy or 
"courts" comprising first the congregation, then the Presbytery, then the 
Synod and finally the General Assembly.  The congregation elects the 
Elders for the Church, the Elders elect representatives to the Presbytery 
>from their numbers and so on up the ladder of the Church.  The Minister 
is called to the Church by the congregation, unlike other sects of 
Christianity who have their minister appointed to them by their 
hierarchy.  This is critical to understanding the philosophy of the 
Church, because this system naturally attracts a much more opencminded 
and liberal group of people, who value the contribution of each member.  
In the Church I attended, we had a time period in each service where 
members were actively encouraged to contribute their ideas and questions 
to the Minister and the Congregation at large.  This was a welcome change 
to the military Chapel services I had attended in the past!

Since all people are regarded as equal in the Presbyterian Church, it was 
one of the very first churches to accept women as ministers in the 
Church.  The story of Adam and Eve was regarded by the ministers as an 
etiological story and the "original sin" of Eve was mentioned, if at all, 
only in passing, and was not regarded as an indictment of the female 
gender.  Currently, the number of women in the Seminaries is growing 
exponentially.  The Presbyterian Church is also one of the leaders in 
more controversial subjects, such as accepting Gay people into the 
Clergy, though they have not yet resolved this debate.

There has not been as yet a real strong realization of the feminine 
aspect of Divinity within Presbyterianism, however, one the interesting 
tenets of this religion is that Divinity is tripartite, consisting of the 
Father, Son and Holy Spirit.  Though it may seem that this denies the 
feminine aspect of divinity (as well as being quite paradoxical to the 
concept of monotheism as a Christian doctrine), the Holy Spirit aspect 
reflects those qualities of the Goddess quite clearly, and it is this 
aspect which is focused on more than any other.  The "Holy Spirit" is the 
spirit of compassion, nurturance, unconditional love, acceptance and 
transcendance and is that which reflects the more spiritual nature of the 
Church's teachings.  Recently, some exciting things have been occuring 
within the context of the hymnals of the Church.  Charlie Butler (phone 
conversation, June 13, 1993) shared with me the text of a new hymn whose 
words include:

"Loving Spirit, Holy Spirit...
Like a Mother you enfold me
Hold my life within your own,
Feed me with you very body,
Form me of your Flesh and Blood.

Like a Father you protect me,
Teach me the discerning eye,
Hoist me up upon your shoulders
Let me see the world from high."

In a recent telephone conversation with minister of the Church in Dale 
City, he told me that many of the Churches are "invoking" a Mother/Father 
God in their liturgy.  This is an extremely encouraging sign in regards 
to the evolvement of the Church and reflects a developing tolerance for 
other faiths.  The Presbyterian Church is also one of the leaders of 
Ecumenical interface with other religions, they are accepting as 
affiliate members Pagans and other people of varying paths.  This may 
represent a key in reconnecting people to resolving the ills that plague 
society and the planet.

One of the key tenets of the Presbyterian Church is the idea of 
predestination, which was originally conceptualized by the dour John 
Calvin.  This is one of the most controversial elements in the Church and 
is extremely paradoxical to the concept of free will, which is also a 
tenet of Presbyterianism.  Our minister did not really deal with this 
concept very well...he mentioned it in passing during the course on the 
history of the Church but did not dwell on it, and it was not a concept 
that I accepted.

Other practices which characterize the Church include infant Baptism (to 
ensure salvation, because original sin is still a tenet) and communion.  
The Communion was held quarterly throughout the year and in typical 
Calvinist fashion used grape juice rather than wine.  The main difference 
between Presbyterian Communion and other communion services is the 
concept that the bread and "wine" were literally the body and blood of 
Christ.  Presbyterians reject that concept, probably because John Calvin 
regarded it as cannibalistic, and 
instead shares communion in "remembrance of the sacrifice Christ made for 
mankind."

Of course, Presbyterianism has in common with other Christian faiths 
tenets such as transcendant divinity, the afterlife, the salvation 
concept, Jesus' divinity and resurrection, sin, and reward and 
punishment. 
These are areas which are also changing, little by little, as more 
tolerance of alternative ideas are being accepted.  

There also seems to be a growing awareness of environmental stewardship 
in the Church.  My former minister told me that many in the Church are 
concerned about the fate of the Earth and that the sermons, the liturgy 
and the hymns are echoing this concern.  

Essentially the Presbyterian Church is evolving, unlike many other sects 
of Protestantism.  I have great hope that they will continue to evolve 
positively in the next few years, and I feel that my involvement with 
that Church was not a negative thing, it was just not entirely everything 
that I needed, nor did it fulfill me in the same way that the CAW does.


From owner-cawpagan-l@netcom.com  Sun Jun 26 07:06:04 1994
Date: Sat, 25 Jun 1994 21:59:18 -0700 (PDT)
From: Joy Williams 
Subject: my essay part 4
To: cawpagan-l@netcom.com
MIME-Version: 1.0
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Sender: owner-cawpagan-l@netcom.com
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Neo-Paganism

To describe Neo-Paganism in a few paragraphs is somewhat daunting because 
of its incredible diversity and richness (to say nothing of the fact that 
this essay is being read by some of the people who were those 
visioinaries in the movement who got this whole thing rolling!)  To say 
that all Neo-Pagans believe thus and so is also inaccurate because none 
of us agree on everything!  Nevertheless there are certain similarities 
among many of our people in regards to practices and worldviews.

Neo-Paganism means "new" Pagan.  "Pagan" derives from "Paganus" which was 
a Latin word meaning "country dweller." (fn "The Truth About 
Neo-Paganism, Anodea Judith, CAW).  More than just a religion in the 
common understanding of the word, it is a way of life which revives and 
recreates the tribal practices and traditions of ancient and indigenous 
peoples who derive their worship from the world around them.  Neo-Pagans, 
like the ancient tribal cultures, integrate rituals that reflect the 
cycles of the Earth, combining them with play, art, dance, magick, trance 
and other forms of expression with those life-affirming paradigms found 
in the realms of science, transpersonal psychology and innovative 
thought.  It is marked by its lack of dogma 
and common belief; instead it is a religion which celebrates and 
encourages great diversity in worship, and whose most notable goal is the 
self-actualization of the individual, society and the Earth Herself.  To 
me, Neo-Paganism represents a shift away from the system of oppression 
and control which characterizes those religions and instituions whose 
orientations are patriarchal and authoritative, and whose focus and dogma 
center around sin, fear, and death.  Neo-paganism is a life and love 
centered celebratory practice, and those who follow its path are joyously 
exploring their own evolvement.  It is the hope for our species and the 
planet because its orientation is characterized by cooperation and 
empowerment of the indiviual, and its focus is on reconnection to the 
complex web of creation and Her continual, spiralling expression.  Since 
it has as one of its main characteristics the understanding of the vast 
biodiversity throughout creation, Neo-Pagans' various rituals and 
traditions are remarkably diverse, inspired from the tribal religions of 
old Europe, to Native American shamanic paths, to Polynesian 
celebrations, and even to the creation of entirely new and personal 
rituals.  It is as complex as the myriad people who follow it, so there 
is no one "way" of Neo-Paganism, and the people who practice it are 
generally very open to new experience...in fact, in the CAW this is 
actively encouraged, because "all acts of love and pleasure are Her 
rituals."  (Charge of the Goddess, Doreen Valiente).  There are certain 
traits that many Neo-Pagans share, however, and I will attempt to 
describe these commonalities.


The Neo-Pagan ethical system is reflected in the Wiccan Rede  "an ye harm 
none, do as thou wilt," the belief that the Earth and the universe are 
living organisms and the belief that divinity is immanent.  For most 
Pagans, this means that one has the freedom to do whatever one wishes, as 
long as it harms nothing, including the self.  This freedom entails a 
great deal of responsibility, for we must scrutinize all possible 
repurcussions of our actions.  Many of us believe in a principle of 
kharma or cause and effect, that whatever we put forth returns to us (we 
are always at the center of the circle and the line of the circle always 
returns to the beginning), following a three-fold law.  (Personally, I 
sometimes think that the return is ten-fold.)

We do not conceptualize "sin", or "salvation," because we feel that the 
divinity is inherent within us, so there is nothing to be saved from, nor 
worry about being damned to.  Therefore the mechanism of punishment, fear 
and guilt are almost foreign in regards to our ethical standards.  
Instead, we understand that everything is cyclical, so it is better for 
us to send out cycles of good energy then bad.

The majority of Pagans believe in reincarnation, for various personal 
reasons.  However, this is not something we dwell on very much.  We live 
now, and the now is the important thing.  Whatever happens in the 
after-life will happen, but we rejoice in the moment, because that is all 
we really know and have.  

Since divinity is inherent throughout nature, and since we are part of 
nature, it is in our best interests to ensure that nature is healthy and 
whole.  Many of us are active environmentalists, who regard the 
protection of our Mother Earth part of our daily spiritual practice (to 
say nothing of survival!).  CAW, more than most Neo-Pagan groups, 
exemplifies this reverence for the Earth and encourages active 
involvement in Her protection and restoration.  Thus most of us compost, 
recycle, plant trees, write letters to our representatives, petition, and 
even occassionally chain ourselves to Redwoods.  The Earth is a sacred 
being to us, our Mother, and most of us, feel a link with Her that is 
vital and tangible.  Like many Native Americans, we feel that it is 
necessary to "walk our talk" and not be hypocritical, so activism is part 
of our unwritten creed.  This eco-consciousness was one of the main 
attractions which drew me to the CAW, for protection and love of the 
Earth was already a part of my lifestyle, and I had been looking for a 
community which shared that consciousness.  The Kabbala and some of the 
other magickal systems that I have investigated do not have this 
eco-awareness as an emphasis, and thus they failed to integrate all of 
those things which are important to my personal spirituality and growth.

[more of this in the next part]


From owner-cawpagan-l@netcom.com  Sun Jun 26 07:09:53 1994
Date: Sat, 25 Jun 1994 21:54:19 -0700 (PDT)
From: Joy Williams 
Subject: my essay part 3
To: cawpagan-l@netcom.com
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Sender: owner-cawpagan-l@netcom.com
Precedence: list


The Kabbalah

After an interval of great stress in 1985, I had an experience which 
changed my life and perspective.  I had been wandering through many 
theologies and philosophies while in the university atmosphere and 
without conscious volition had that experience which has been described 
variously as "transcendental" or "mystical" 
or "shamanic."  The experience itself was an out-of-body ecstatic event 
that connects one with all being and manifestation.  It entirely changed 
my understanding as to the nature of divinity and it's immanence and sent 
me on a wild search for a commonality of experience which could explain 
this phenomenon.  Like many people who have experienced this, many 
strange and wonderful things started occuring, including books falling 
out of bookshelves in stores into my hands while I was browsing, people 
coming into my life who just started talking about similar occurences and 
offering guidance, etc.  One of those experiences was to run into a woman 
who gave me original copies of Paul Foster Case's teachings on the Tree 
of Life and to consecutively run into a Jewish man who studied the 
Kaballah.  I had a little familiarity with the Kaballah because of 
reading a couple of books on the Tarot, but no deep understanding of any 
significance.  Once I started studying this I was amazed at how it 
connected to the experience that I had.  

The Kabbalah is the mystical and hidden tradition of the Jews.   
The word "Kabbalah" means to "pass from mouth to ear".  It was an oral 
tradition which focused on the nature of divinity and its myriad 
manifestations.  The knowledge rests on a diagram or schematic of 
reality, called the Tree of Life.  Its philosophy regards Divinity as 
both transcendant and immanent, manifesting as a lightening bolt (or the 
"kav") which zigzags down the tree and creates ten spheres or "Sephirot" 
(from "saphire") into the physical world, and courses back as human 
understanding up the tree in the form of a "serpent" back to the divine 
nothingness or "Ayin".  These Sephirah rest on three pillars, the pillar 
of Severity on the left, akin to the Yin from Taoism or the Goddess whose 
qualities are passive Form and Constraint; the pillar of Equilibrium in 
the center whose qualities are Grace and Will and are the integration of 
the God and Goddess aspect into a whole being; and the pillar of Mercy on 
the right whose aspects are the masculine aspects of active Force 
and Expansion as well as the God or the Yang.

Each of the 10 Sephirah have their own correspondences and names of God 
or Divinity, as well as linking correspondence in astrology, human 
psychology and spirituality, among other things.  The first Sephirot is 
called Keter and rests at the very top of the tree on the middle pillar.  
It is the crown of existence and represents the manifestation of "all 
that was, is and will be; it is the place of first emanation and ultimate 
return." (Halevi, Z'ev ben Shinon. Kabbalah:  Tradition of Hidden 
Knowledge. Thames and Hudson, New York, NY. 1979, p. 6.)

The kav continues and expands into the second Sephirah or Hokmah, or 
Wisdom, which is the divine spark of revelation or genius in humans.  The 
next Sephirah is Binah, which transforms this spark by its passive and 
restrictive nature into understanding.  These three Sephirah comprise the 
great supernal triangle of the Divine Spirit, the purest aspect of the 
God and Goddess which both evolve and reflect from.  

The next place the kav passes through is a hidden Sephirot called Da'at, 
representing knowledge directly imparted to human beings through the 
divine.  From there, the kav creates Hesed and then Gevurah, Sephirah 
which "govern the level of emotion as distinct from supernal intellect." 
(Ibid.) Hesed, on the pillar of Mercy, represents Mercy in its true form, 
and Gevurah Justice. 
On the human scale, this level on the Tree represents our ability to have 
compassion and love (Hesed) which is tempered by discrimination and 
judgement.  

Tifaret is the next manifested Sephirot.  It is the
 aspect of pure beauty and rests on the pillar of Equilibrium.  This is 
the heart of the tree which in Christian mystical teachings is 
represented as the Christ, and corresponds to the human psyche as the 
nature of spirit and the Self, that unconscious aspect which watches all 
and has the inner understanding of reality no matter how much the 
subconscious and conscious may not.  In the
 CAW, I feel that Tifaret is the inner God/dess which is waiting to be 
awakened through unconditional love, discerning judgement and the divine 
reflection.  I have witnessed this beauty manifesting itself through the 
Clergy of CAW, and I intuit that this is one of the more important 
functions of the Clergy in helping others on the path.  It is the 
acknowledgement and conscious reflection of the Divinity from one to 
another to enable self-actualization and growth not only of the 
individual, but ultimately of all humanity and of Gaia herself.  Tifaret 
is the Heart of Love and corresponds to the heart Chakra as well.  The 
three Sefirat of
 Hesed, Gevurah and Tifaret comprise the divine soul which mirrors the 
divine spirit above.

The next level is the level which represents in the human psyche the 
"vital psycho-biological processes, whether active instinctive and 
impulsive  [Netzach "Eternity" on the pillar of mercy] or passive, 
cognitive and controlling [Hod, "Reverberation" on the pillar of 
Severity]." (Ibid, p. 70). 

Kav continues on to the next level which is called Yesod or Foundation 
and also lies on the pillar of Equilibrium.  This Sefirot is the point on 
the Tree where further Trees manifest and it is also "reflective:  here, 
directly below Tiferet an 'image of the image' can be perceived, and the 
Tree sees itself: 
Yesod is the mirror within the mirror."  (Ibid.).  In the human 
psychology this is where the ego rests, and how we regard ourselves and 
project that perception of self to others, which does not necessarily 
reflect the true self 
of beauty at Tifaret, depending on how damaged we are and where we need 
to grow.  This is the area in general in the human psyche which needs the 
most help and direction.  
The last Sephirot is Malkuth, the kingdom.  This is the world of matter, 
our bodies, the four elements, the root, the physical manifestation of 
the Earth and all that is within it.  It is also a reflection of Keter in 
the physical image, for Keter is the potentiality of all that may come 
into existence.  

Human growth and potential manifests as an image of the serpent crawling 
back up the Tree of Life in a circuitous manner crossing pathways between 
all of the Sefirah on the Tree, until a union and harmonization with 
Keter is attained.  Thus, the serpent in the Garden of Eden story, which 
according to the Kabala, is a metaphor for the Tree, was the creature who 
represents the return to complete Godhead.  

The Kabalistic system is an extremely complex and involved philosophy 
which I could dedicate many books to, so instead of going into all of its 
myriad details I would like to address a few points of comparison for the 
purposes of this essay.

As I said earlier, the concept of divinity is regarded both as 
transcendent and immanent at the same time. The Kabbalist's believe that 
the only way that creation could understand it's own existence is by 
manifesting into 
something.  The only way that anything can know that it exists is by its 
creation, whether that is thought, action or physical manifestation.  If 
I were all that existed in infinity, I would not know my existence unless 
I saw a reflection of myself through some creation.  According to the 
Kabalah, "God[/dess] wished to behold God[/dess]" and therefore created 
all things in its image, through the supreme act of love of self and 
total free will.  This process of creation reflects the macrocosmic 
aspect of infinity in the microcosmic world of physical creation and 
rejoices in itself and continues to evolve in expression and diversity.  
So while the divinity exists on a transcendent, macrocosmic level it also 
exists on the physical, microcosmic level.  It is a dynamic process of 
continuing manifestation down the tree and back up it to actualization.  
Humanity is an aspect of this process, as is all life and creation.

An interesting enigma of the Kabbalistic tradition is that even though 
the Kabbalists recognized the feminine in Divinity (elohim and shekinah 
are both feminine names of God/dess), the manner in which this knowledge 
is imparted remains sexist and controlled.  Jewish tradition currently 
does not impart this
 knowledge to women...to gain this one must be 38 years old and male.  
Since regular Judaism does not even touch on this, it is tragic that 
women are
 denied this opportunity.  Fortunately, there is enough available 
literature now on the subject that this is changing, and the ceremonial 
magick tradition is also contributing to the spread of knowledge.
 
Another enigma of the philosophy is the belief in Hell, guilt and sin.  
The tree is believed to go through four worlds of manifestation, and each 
time one of those transformations completes itself, negative yicky stuff 
is left behind (perhaps like the skin of a serpent).  The Kabalists 
believed that all of this "stuff" creates a negative tree, or the 
Qlipoth, which is the extreme aspects of all the Sephirah.  This is a 
hellish place or state, and has seven levels to it.  Those who sin 
greatly and who never grow out of their practices reside their until the 
day of Judgement when God finally fully sees his reflection, becomes one 
with it and then decides which parts of himself to cast aside.  
Therefore, the ethical system is based on the threat of punishment and 
the fear of separation from Divinity.

In regards to the afterlife, Heaven is regarded as oneness with Keter and 
oneness with the conscious principle of life.  The Kabalah teaches that 
there are four layers of the tree, and that the human soul travels 
through all of these trees until becoming one with the ultimate divinity 
to start the process of 
manifestation all over again.  The concept of "Gilgulum" is the 
Kabbalistic equivalent of reincarnation and this process is regarded as 
necessary for the growth of the soul and for the soul's personal 
destiny.  

In many respects, the Kabalistic system has many elements which are 
similar to Paganism, but also similar to Christianity (which considering 
that Christianity comes from Judaism, is not surprising).  It had some 
very interesting concepts for me, but again, I found that these paradoxes 
were extremely confusing, and I also found that the philosophy was so 
complex that it became burdensome and tiresome.  There is also a severe 
lack of joy and playfulness...in some ceremonial circles I was in it was 
far too serious and somber.  I think it is because the people who 
practice it are striving SO HARD to reach Keter that they lose their 
spontaneity and their touch with the joy of just living.  I also have 
witnessed that in some ceremonial circles people have a tendency of 
wanting to "order" something to come into a circle, rather than invite 
it.  Just as in Christianity, ceremonial magick and the Kabala are highly 
structured and hierarchical.  For those reasons I grew disenchanted with 
it, and though there are some wonderful things in it that I refer back to 
in magickal work and there are some tenets which I agree with and 
integrate into my philosophy at this point, it did not fulfill me and I 
continued to explore.


From owner-cawpagan-l@netcom.com  Sun Jun 26 07:16:43 1994
Date: Sat, 25 Jun 1994 22:05:48 -0700 (PDT)
From: Joy Williams 
Subject: my essay part 5
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Neo-Pagans regard divinity as immanent in all creation, from the universe 
to the subatomic particle.  And even though we believe that all is "one" 
with this great divinity, our religion is characterized by polarity and 
polytheism.  Neo-Pagans believe that divinity manifests as the God and 
the Goddess, the Lady and the Lord, the Yin and the Yang of Taosim, the 
Hokmah/Binah of the Kabala.  This is essentially because the existence of 
something necessitates that it's complement exists to define it.  Light 
is not possible without dark; the feminine is defined by the masculine, 
and vice versa.  This basic polarity exists throughout all creation.  The 
magnet which brings these complements together is love and this love 
between the God and the Goddess creates all manifestation.  We also 
believe that since the God and Goddess are immanent that man and woman 
are reflection of this Divine polarity.  Thus when members of the CAW say 
"Thou art God" or "Thou Art Goddess" we are acknowledging the Divinity 
within each other and rejoicing in it.  Because of this shared belief 
that the love between the God and Goddess begets all creation, sex is 
regarded with joyous reverence and is sacred.  It is the highest 
expression of worship that most of us can imagine or practice, for on a 
microcosmic level we reflect the macrocosmic principle, and we become as 
God/desses.

For the past 6000 years or so, the feminine aspect of Divinity has been 
subjugated, oppressed, raped and dismembered.  The Inquisition of 
Medieval Europe, which was continued in the Americas (and in some ways 
still goes on) is the most vivid and frightening example of this 
violence, resulting in millions of people dying in the name of 
Christianity.  (I know that the oft quoted number of nine million who 
died in Europe due to the Inquisition is highly debated, but if one 
includes the number of Native people in this hemisphere who suffered and 
were slaughtered during the Conquistador invasion and after, under the 
diretion of Queen Isabella and the Catholic Church, the number of Pagans 
who died goes easily into the millions.)  The tragedies of environmental 
degradation, oppression of civil rights, war, estrangement of individuals 
>from the Earth and each other, the ridiculous consumptive nature of 
capitalism, and the breakdown of the family can all be laid at the feet 
of dogmatic religion which is exclusive, controlling, hierarchical and 
singularily patriarchal.  And though Abrahamic traditions are probably 
the most prevalent religions which illustrate this problem and continue 
to do so, they are not the only ones.   Buddhists, Aztec, Roman, some 
African, Hindhuism and others have all demonstrated this tendency in 
history.  It probably all started during the Aryan, Kurgan and Semitic 
invasions of major cultures all over the known world.  It is my theory 
that since most of these groups were nomadic, the driving, hunting aspect 
of God energy gained control of the culture and out-of-balance.  The God 
became hubristic and started to separate itself in human consciousness 
>from the feminine and started to see land, woman and property as 
something to be taken rather than shared.  At first, those cultures who 
were Goddess oriented were completely unprepared and receptive to these 
invasions, but eventually the instinct to survive kicked in and war 
began.  War begets war, and bit by precious bit, the Goddess was raped, 
disempowered, and dismembered.  Finally, she sank into the subconscious 
of humanity, except in those remote areas where Her being was not 
violated.  Just as the Goddess slumbers in the Earth in the Winter, She 
gradually escaped into the Earth to survive.  In the meantime, the 
out-of-balance God played havoc in the world and the human psyche.  
Because of these atrocities to the Goddess, Her representatives (women), 
and Her body, the role of women in Neo-Paganism is prevalent.  Women 
often become High Priestess and frequently have the final say in the 
decision making process.  Some sects of Neo-Paganism are women only.  
This is occuring because we want to bring the Goddess back to health in 
her full glory, but I think it is a mistake to neglect the God aspect, 
because He is equally damaged, and His representatives need to feel that 
they are healing as well.  For the full healing of men and women, society 
and the Planet we must include the full polarity of the ultimate 
Divinity.  We must heal the rift caused by the controlling God and the 
way to do this is by celebrating them both in each other and beyond.

It must be understood that the God who controlled was not the healthy 
God, the Horned One, Cernunos, Herne or the Green Man.  This was, 
essentially, the immature aspect of the God which is clearly seen in the 
Old Testament as capricious, grasping and jealous.  This God was not the 
Pagan God that Neo-Pagans worship today.  Our God is full of drive and 
energy, delighting in the Goddess, potent, wild and free.  He is the 
evolutionary key to species, for it is His energy which drives species to 
survive and adapt.  Therefore, He is the Lord of the animals, the hunt 
and the will to survive.  He is the essence of the drive in humankind for 
new discovery and explorations, the cerebral aspect in humankind to 
expand understanding and the psycholgical drive to self-actualization.  
He is the movement and this is seen in the quest of the sperm to meet the 
egg, the energy of the the spiral dance of the Galaxy and the DNA.  He is 
the flow of the blood, the rivers, and creation, while the Goddess is the 
blood, the water, the egg, the galaxy and the helix.  Within Her lies all 
potential and possibility, but She must have the energy to manifest and 
thus "make it so," just as He must have something to plant his seed 
within to continue.  In many respects, this concept reflects the Tree of 
Life, for it is the masculine in the kav which drives Divinity to 
manifest into Creation and it is the potentiality of all being that this 
energy intersects which is the Goddess.  And it is the love which 
attracts the two which begets creation.  

Neo-Pagans' polytheism has many different expressions of deity.  
Conceptually, I have always felt that Divinity can be compared to a large 
jewel, with each facet a deity or a "face" of the Divinity.  Thus, 
Neo-Pagans may call upon Aphrodite/Eros for sexual love, Pallas Athene 
for wisdom, the Hindu Lakshmi for prosperity, Hermes for science, or any 
other number of Gods and Goddesses.  A common practice of Neo-Pagans is 
to invoke this deity into ourselves and to perform ritual or magick in 
this state.  

Rituals and celebrations reflect the cycles of the Earth and fall on or 
near natural events, such as the equinoxes, the solstices, the cycles of 
the moon, the cycles of the seasons, the transitions of life and even the 
cycle of the endless expression of expansion and contraction of the 
universe.  Most Neo-Pagans recognize at least 8 major holidays, drawing 
upon Celtic and other European traditions.  These holidays celebrate the 
fertility of the Earth, the harvest, the masculine drive to create, the 
feminine creation, among other things.  Neo-Pagans also often hold 
rituals and worship upon the moon phases for transformational and 
magickal work, but they will also do work whenever they feel the need to, 
or just want to.  There are no set rules for this.

The last point I would like to bring up in regards to Neo-Paganism is 
that most of us practice some form of Magick.  Magick is both akin to 
prayer and science.  It is also an art.  It is a method whereby we can 
manipulate probability and manifest our will through consicous 
direction.  It uses symbols, tools, any myriad number of things to create 
a new reality.  It is empowering and evolving and manifests in the form 
of activism as well as healing and other ways.  It is the craft of the 
wise, and the wise are those who understand the patterns of nature and 
know how to encourage it under their direction.  It is also an incredible 
way to develop the intuition and leads to a deeper understanding of all 
things.  Magick is practiced in as many ways as there are practitioners, 
and is a prime activity among Neo-Pagans.  In all actuality, all creation 
is a form of magick.

To summarize this essay, I would say that though I have learned positive 
things from all of my explorations, in Neo-Paganism and in the CAW I have 
found my home and tribe.  This is the most joyful, happy, lively and fun 
lifestyle I have ever known.  It has empowered me more than anything has 
ever done, and it is the mechanism which will lead me to my full 
potential.  This path is the magickal life which leads to 
self-actualization, evolution and connection.  I am continually surpised 
by this grand and wonderful adventure, and wait in anticipation for its 
next gift. 


[well that's it folks...hope you liked it!]