Backbiting

Backbiting

from "Mukhtasar Minhaj al-Qasideen"

(being Ibn Qudamah's abridgement of Ibn al-Jawzi's summary of al-Ghazzali's
"Ihya' `Ulum al-Deen")

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"O you who believe! Avoid much suspicion, for some suspicions are a
sin.  Do not spy on one another, nor backbite one another.  Would
one of you love to eat the flesh of his dead brother?  Nay, you would
abhor it, [so similarly, avoid backbiting].  And fear Allah. 
Indeed, Allah is Most Forgiving, Most Merciful."
Qur'an, [49:12]
 "And do not follow that of which you do not have knowledge. 
Indeed, the hearing, the sight and the heart - [you] will be asked about
all of those." Qur'an, [17:36]
 "He does not utter a [single] word, except that there is, with
him, [an angel] ready and waiting [to record it]." Qur'an, [50:18]
 
Imam Nawawi says "It is obligatory for every sane adult to guard his
tongue against talking, except when it contains a clear benefit. If talking
and remaining silent are of equal benefit, it is sunnah to abstain, for
permissible talking might lead to something undesirable or forbidden, as
in fact is very often the case, and nothing matches safety."
 
On the authority of Abu Hurayrah :
"Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day should say [something]
good, or he should keep silent." [Bukhari, Muslim, Ahmad, Tirmidhi, Ibn
Majah]
Nawawi says, "This hadith is quite explicit that it is imperative to
not talk unless the speech is good, which is that wherein there is some
benefit. If a perso
n is in doubt as to whether there will be any benefit, then he should
remain silent."
 
On the authority of Sahl ibn Sa`d :
"Whoever guarantees for me what is between his two jaws and what is
between his two legs, I guarantee Heaven for him." [Bukhari, Muslim]

On the authority of `Uqbah ibn `Amir : I said, 'O Messenger of Allah! 
What is salvation?"
He said, "Hold your tongue, let your house contain you, and weep over
your sins." [Bukhari, Muslim]
 
Mu`adh ibn Jabal said, "Are we even going to be held accountable for
what we say?!"
The Messenger of Allah (may Allah bless him and grant him peace) said,
"May your mother bebereaved of you!  Is there anything which drags
people into the Fire on their faces other than the harvest of their tomgues?!"
[Tirmidhi (hasan sahih)]

On the authority of Abu Bakrah, from the Farewell Pilgrimage:
"Indeed, your blood, property and honor are sacred to [one another],
like the sanctity of this day of yours in this city of yours." [Bukhari,
Muslim]
 
On the authority of Abu Hurayrah :
"All of a Muslim is prohibited to another Muslim : his blood, his honor
and his property." [Muslim]

"O assembly of those who have believed with their tonngues, but into
whos hearts faith has not yet reached!  Do not backbite the Muslims,
nor seek out their secrets!  For, whoever seeks out the faults of
his brother, Allah will seek out his secrets.  And, whoever has his
secrets sought out by Allah, Allah will disgrace him, even [if he hides]
in the depths of his house. [Abu Dawud in al-Adab, 4/271, #4880]
"Beware of backbiting, for backbiting is more serious than adultery. 
A man may commit adultery, and drink [wine], and then repent, and Allah
will forgive him.  But, the backbiter will not be forgiven by Allah
until his [backbited] companion forgives him." [Suyuti, Al-Jami` as-Saghir,
1/174, #2919, from Ibn Abid-Dunya, and Abush-Shaykh, Al-Tawbikh.]
 
Meaning of ghibah
It has been defined precisely by the Prophet (may Allah bless him and grant
him peace) as, "You rmentioning your brother with something about him that
he dislikes [being spoekn about]."
Someone asked, "How about if my brother contains that [characteristic
which I am mentioning]?"
He replied, "If he possesses that which you mention, then you have
[indeed] backbited him. And, if he does not contain that which you say,
then you have slandered him." [Muslim in al-Birr, 4/2001, #70; Ahmad in
Al-Musnad, 2/230,384]

Body.
Lineage.
Character.
Clothing.
 
Ghibah in the guise of religiousity
"Praise be to Allah who has saved us from such evil."
"We ask Allah for protection."
"That poor fellow! Allah has afflicted him with a great calamity. May
Allah
forgive him and us."
 
Listening to Ghibah
Someone who listens to backbiting is a partner to it. He is not absolved
of the sin of listening unless he remonstrates verbally, or in his heart
if he is afraid. If he is able to start talking about something else, or
to chgange the subject of the coversation, then it is imperative for him
to do so.

"And, when they hear vain talk, they turn away from it." [Qur'an, 28:55]
"[Succesful are] those who shun vain talk." [Qur'an, al-Mu'minun: 3]
"Whoever is present while a Muslim is humiliated before him, and is
able to assist him [and yet does not], Allah will humiliate him before
[all of] creation." [Ahmad in al-Musnad, 3/487; Suyuti in Al-Jami` As-Saghir,
2/510, #8375]
"Whoever protects a believer from a hypocrite, Allah will send to him
an angel to protect him from the Fire of Hell on the Day of Arising. [Abu
Dawud in al-Adab, 4/272, #4883]
"Whoever averts [an attack] from the honor of his brother, Allah will
avert the fire from hi sface on the Day of Arising." [Tirmidhi (hasan)]
 
Causes of ghibah
1. Thirst for revenge. Backbiting one's brother and obtaining gratification
from his anger.
2. Peer pressure. Desire to fit in with and be accepted by one's companions.
3. Desire to exalt one's self by degrading another. In the same way,
one may become jealous when anothe ris praised, and therefore seek to disparage
him.
4. Jest and play. A desire to make others laugh. Some people even make
a living out of this.
 
Cure for ghibah
Realize that it exposes you to the displeasure of Allah, the Exalted. Remind
yourself that your good deeds will go to the person whom you ar ebackbiting,
and his sins will be borne by you. Ponder over your own faults,a nd occupy
yourself with correcting them. Feel ashamed to discuss the faults of others
when you yourself have so many faults. If you are rally free from fault,
then occupy yourself with thanking Allah for His favor. Just as you would
dislike someone else backbiting you, out yourself in the place of the one
whom you are inclined to backbite.
"Indeed, truthfulness leads to righteousness, and righteousness leads
to Heaven.  And, a man [continues to] tell the truth, until he is
recorded before Allah as a truthful one.  And, indeed, lying leads
to evil, and evil leads to Hell.  And, a man [continues to] lie until
he is recorded before Allah as a liar. [Bukhari, Muslim]
 
"Insulting a Muslim is impiety, and killing him is [a form of] unbelief."
[Bukhari, Muslim, Ahmad, Nasa'i, Ibn Majah, Tirmidhi, Tabarani, Daraqutni.]
 
Ghibah of the heart
To think the worst of Muslims. You may not think badly of a Muslim unless
you have definite knowledge of his having done something evil, and there
is
no possible excuse or justification for him. You should try to make
70 excuses for your brother, and if you cannot find an excuse for him,
look for some
flaw in your perception. If someone informs you of something bad about
someone else, it is obligatory upon you to investigate the matter. Is there
some enmity
between the informer and the one he is telling you about?  You
are obliged to think the best of your Muslim brother/sister. Thwart Satan
by making du`a for the person. Do not spy on your brother, under the pretext
of trying to find out the truth. If it does turn out that he has done something
wrong, then advise him in secret.
 
Cases in which ghibah is permissible
1. Injustice. One who has suffered injustice is entitled to mention the
one who has committed injustice to someone who is capable of restoring
his rights to him, such as a legitimate Muslim ruler or judge.
2. Seeking help to change an evil, or to reform the wrongdoer. If the
intention in telling the ghibah is not to change the wrong, then it is
forbidden to relate it.
3. Asking for a fatwa. A person may say, 'My father/brother/wife has
done such-and-such to me. What can I do about it?
On the authority of `A'ishah : Hind, the wife of Abu Sufyan, said to
the Prophet (may Allah bless him and grant him peace), "Abu Sufyan is a
miserly man, and he is not giving me what would suffice me and my child,
unless I take from him without his knowing."  He said, "Take what
suffices you and your child according to common usage." [Bukhari, Muslim]
However, it is more precautionary to avoid mention of names, for exaple
by asking instead, "What is the verdict regarding a person who has done
such-and-such?"
4. Warning, such as warning a prospective buyer that the merchant is
a swindler, or warning a student that his prospective teacher is an innovator
or a deviant.Also, revealing the faults of weak narrators and forgers of
hadith, and giving someone a candid appraisal of a person whom the former
is thinking of marrying.
On the authority of Fatimah bint Qays : she said, "I came to the Prophet
(may Allah bless him and grant him peace) and told him, "Abu Jahm and Mu`awiyah
have [both] proposed to me."  He said, "As for Mu`awiyah, he is a
poor man with no money, and as for Abu Jahm, his stick never leaves his
shoulder." [Bukhari, Muslim, Malik]
5. If someone is commonly known by a nickname, although if there is
some alternative way to refer to him, it is preferable.
6. Someone who sins openly, and has no qualms about his sins being
mentioned.
However, it is not permissible to mention any of his secret sins.
"There can be no backbiting of one who casts off the mantle of modesty."
[Suyuti, Al-Jami` As-Saghir, 2/519, from Bayhaqi.]
 
Expiation for ghibah
The backbiter has committed two infringements; one upon the limits of Allah,
and this must be expiated by repentance and regret. The second is on the
rights of his brothers/sisters. If news of the backbiting has rached the
person, the backbiter must apologize to him/her, and express regret at
having said it.

"Whoever has wronged his brother, in the way of property or honor, let
him go to him and repair it, before it is taken [from him on a day] when
he has no dirhams or dinars, such thatif he has any good deeds, some of
the good deeds will be taken and given to [the wronged one], otherwise
[if he has no goo deeds], some of the other's evil deeds will be taken
and cast upon him." [Bukhari, Al-Mazalim, 5/121, #2449. Ahmad, Al-Musnad,
2/435]

If the person has not learned that he has been backbited, then the backbiter
need not tell him, but he should ask Allah to forgive him.
"The expiation with regard to one who has been backbited is that forgiveness
be asked for him." [Suyuti, Al-Jami` As-Saghir, 2/390, #6259]
Mujahid said : the expiation for eating the flesh of your brother is
that you praise him and pray for good for him, and similar is the case
if he has died.
 
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