FAMILY.TXT 
               WHAT DOES THE BIBLE REALLY SAY ABOUT FAMILY VALUES? 
                           E. Pearlstein.  Lincoln, NE
                                   July, 1989

       "Family values" is a catch phrase often used by some religious 
       groups, usually in a political setting.  They imply that the Bible 
       advocates strength-of-family.  Apparently they don't actually read 
       the book, as it would be more accurate to say that, on balance, 
       the Bible is ANTI-family.  
       
       The two statements often quoted as pro-family: "Honor thy father 
       and thy mother" (Exodus 20:12), and "What God has joined  
       together, let no man put asunder" (Matt. 19:6, Mark 10:9) become 
       just empty slogans when considered alongside the many specific 
       anti-family statements and actions countenanced in the Bible: 
    
       * Right from the beginning, the bearing of children is made a   
       punishment. "In sorrow shalt thou bring forth children" (Genesis 
       3:16); and later, "Woe unto them that are with child and to them 
       that give suck in those days". (Matt. 24:19, Mark 13:17, Luke 
       21:23. See also Luke 23:29.)  Not encouraging words for a young 
       religious couple about to start a family!  I thought that "family 
       values" meant for children to be a blessing, rather than a curse.  
       
       * Abraham actually started to kill his young son, because the god 
       told him to, and that's presented as a virtue (Genesis 22:1-12, 
       James 2:21).  Hardly a good example of parental devotion and 
       protectiveness!  Even today we sometimes have people told by the 
       god to kill their children, and they do it; it happened here in 
       Lincoln a decade or so ago.  And it's not at all uncommon to read 
       of parents refusing medical care for their deathly-ill child 
       because of some biblical passage.  
       
       * Abraham's wife Hagar and their child Ishmael got booted out into 
       the wilderness, for no reason except that his other wife, Sarah, 
       was jealous (Genesis 21:14).  The Bible shows no criticism, and 
       Abraham and Sarah continued to prosper.  
       
       * Most of us would say that incest is against the interests of the 
       family.  Yet Lot, whom the Bible considers to be a very good man, 
       had sex with his two daughters (Genesis 19:33-36); and there was 
       no punishment for either Lot or the daughters.  Indeed, it might 
       well be argued that Lot must have had divine help in this, since 
       he was able to perform sexually despite being both old and very 
       drunk!  Of course, the poor girls had no mother to guide them, 
       because some time earlier the god got peeved and killed her 
       (Genesis 19:26), along with the two men who were engaged to marry 
       the daughters (Genesis 19:14). 

       * In order to gain favor with a king, Abraham said that his wife 
       was his sister, and offered her to the king for sex.  This 
       happened twice (Genesis 12:11 and Genesis 20:2).  Isaac did a 
       similar thing (Genesis 26:6).  And Lot (Genesis 19:8) once offered 
       his virgin daughters to be used by a mob at Sodom.  (St. Peter 
       called Lot a "righteous man", 2 Peter 2:8) 

       * Jacob tricked his own brother Esau of his inheritance (Genesis 
       25:31-33).  Then he lied to his dying father about it (Genesis 
       27:19).  And the god loved Jacob and hated Esau, the victim  
       (Malachi 1:3, Romans 9:13).  

       * The last of the plagues brought upon the Egyptians was the death 
       of all their first-born children, because "The Lord hardened the 
       heart of Pharoah" (Exodus 9:12, 10:1, 10:20, 10:27, 11:10).  
       Couldn't he have SOFTENED Pharoah's heart and spared all those 
       innocent children?  Maybe Egyptian families don't matter.  
        
       * Jesus ridiculed his own mother in public: "Woman, what have I to 
       do with thee?" (John 2:4)  This, of course, was a direct violation 
       of the commandment about honoring one's parents, which Jesus said 
       he agreed with (Matt. 15:4 and several other places).  On another 
       occasion he refused to see his mother and brothers, answering 
       their request with a wisecrack (Matt. 12:46-50).  And when someone 
       praised Mary, Jesus disagreed (Luke 11:27-8).     
       
       * Although half of a family consists of women, the Old and New 
       Testaments have enough approved-of degradation of women to make a 
       book on that subject.  (Woe to the Women - The Bible Tells Me So, 
       by Annie Laurie Gaylor, 1981) 

       * Jesus promised his followers great rewards if they would desert 
       their wives and children (Matt. 19:29).  And in the old testament 
       too, it was good for men to "put away their wives" (Ezra 10:19).  
              
       * Jesus says very clearly that anyone who wants to be his disciple 
       must hate his father, mother, wife, children, brothers, and 
       sisters (Luke 14:26). 

       * And then there is: "For I am come to set a man at variance 
       against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the 
       daughter in law against her mother in law.  And a man's foes shall 
       be they of his own household" (Matt. 10:35-36).  Does it indicate 
       a pro-family attitude of Jesus, when such things are the reason 
       for his coming?  Is this a sample of the "good news" some 
       evangelists keep proclaiming?