ChRySTAL WORKINGS
thru
THE ASTRAL MIRROR
copyright 1983
by
Boleskine House,inc.
all rights reserved
Boleskine House,inc.
West Danby, NY, 14886
Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law.
The magickal system used by PVN to achieve the visions noted within
these pages is complex and not easily put into words. What is written
of the `mechanics' of his rituals are true, insofar as it is possible to
convey Truth in linear form. Those who seek the linear truth of reason
are warned to avoid any temptation to utilize P.'s system of magick, for
it will surely lead to the speedy demise of their linear consciousness.
This pamphlet is presented to these linear folks for their mindless
entertainment only.
Anyone who is serious in his/her pursuit of High Magick should consider
these workings as `suggestive' rather than as literally True, for each
must develop his/her own system of Magicks which is best suited to unlock
the patterns of initiation from within. Study of the systems of other
magickians will make the task much easier, but no magickian can produce
new and innovative work by following slavishly in the footsteps of
another. We each have a unique nervous system; we each bring to our
magick a unique set of talents and aspirations; we must each create the
future in unique ways.
At the moment there is not much in print on PVN's system of magick. He
prefers to discuss his magicks face-to-face rather than through the linear
& clinical medium of the printed word. But he has begrudgingly conceded
that since he has neither the time nor the temperment to put up with
chelas, he will do the necessary work to put his magickal system into
print. PVN is concerned with neither grammar nor spelling; nor does he
place great value on linear organization of material. All items in this
series will be but strands within the fabric of the pattern of his
magicks. A list of suggested readings will be issued sometime in the
future. For information on obtaining other items in this series, please
contact the publisher.
Love is the law, love under will.
Yrs.for the Great Work,
PVN
[Here begins excerpt from Diary entry
dated Friday, 12 November, 1982 e.v.]
I did a free-float before taking a nap & utilized the crystal to assist
me in regaining entrance to a dream of the night before last (Tuesday
night). I was asleep & had forgotten that I was asleep, so the dream was
not under my conscious control. For the most part, the dream was
forgotten, but there was a section in which I was being bitten & clawed by
two small dogs. I awoke from the nap & remembered O-Shinnah's warning
about avoiding those parts of the astral which were guided by dogs.
According to her, these regions of the astral have temporary rifts between
the planes & any who traverse these rifts are in dire peril of being
stranded away from their bodies if/when the rifts close. These dogs are
most probably the Hounds of Tindalos who guard the angles of the alien
dimensions which impinge upon our space/time continuum. These hounds have
harried me in dreams ever since I was a small child. I was determined to
get back to my dream & deal with these hounds once & for all.
Using VIII Degree & my crystal as a focus I was able to get back to the
general region of the astral where I had encountered these two small dogs.
I met a young woman there {most probabbly a spirit guide} [who had assumed
the outward form of M______] who agreed to assist me in my quest for the
two dogs. We performed the ritual of XI Degree (el.rub.) & I passed from
her temple in trance to another place upon the astral where I saw myself
retreating from the two small dogs (I am somewhat used to these
convolutions in time, but it is still amusing to watch myself exiting the
astral stage just as I am entering from another angle). This time the
dogs did not attack me, for they knew that I was consciously dreaming.
As I approached them, they disolved into a pool of ichor with glitters.
I stretched the web of glittry goo into a triangular archway & peered
through the rift. The background of the astral stage (a street scene
which looked like any large city in Eastern USA, circa 1982) was totally
invisible when viewed thru the archway of astral dog entrails. I moved
the archway around & peered through it at various angles. I finally found
a rift in the black background. The rift formed a very unusual angle
which was very difficult to look at {the angle was too alien to be fully
comprehended}. I wedged the archway (which was quite rigid) into the rift
in order to hold it open & then I stepped through.
On the other side of the rift I saw a hand with seven fingers. On each
finger was a ring. Each ring had a precious stone of a different colour.
There was one stone for each of the primary colours of light (red, blue,
green), one stone for each of the primary colours of pigment (cyan,
magenta, and yellow) and one very gaudy clear glass stone which looked to
be of very little value. The long slender hand offered me the cheap glass
ring, which I accepted. I then felt a quaking & I fell back through the
ichor archway into the astral region of New York City clutching the ring.
I opened my hand & I saw that the clear glass stone was now jet black. In
fact it was so black & so cold that it seemed to draw-in all energy rather
than reflect it. It was not the least bit shiny & it seemed to grow &
absorb surrounding light the more I looked at it.
I purchased a small pouch at one of the many curiousity shops which
abound in this region of the astral, & hung the ring (within the pouch)
around my neck.
I then focused my energies on the web of energy which permeates my
crystal & used it to draw me back into my physical body.
Back in bed, I lie awake with my crystal resting on my heart & my hand
clutched to an invisible pouch which hangs around my neck. I am safely
returned to my physical body, but my pretty bauble remains (for now) upon
the astral.
* * *
[Here begins excerpt from entry for
Sunday, 14 November, 1982 e.v.]
Saturday night I did my evening free-float at bedtime. I found myself
upon that portion of the astral which I have identified with New York
City. I feel a weight about my neck. It is the pouch containing the gem
of night. I open the pouch & the darkness radiates outward -threatening
to engulf the maya of the astral. I seal the pouch & seek the company of
the priestcraft of the Night.
I manage to procure two priestesses & one priest along with a suitable
temple. We set-up to perform a modification of the Mass of the Mirror
(see Outside the Circles of Time by Kenneth Grant for details) with me as
a gynanderous priest/(ess). As I began to drift into the state of
neither/neither (from the ministrations of both priestesses and the
priest), I open up the pouch & remove the dark crystal ring. The darkness
does not envelop the astral temple, but it does cause the mirror above me
to turn absolutely black. Meanwhile, I am still aware of my physical
vehicle which performs VIIIø magick while clutching the quartz crystal to
its heart. As the point of climax threatens to engulf me, I look into the
black mirror above me & project through the gateways of sleep visible in
the mirror and into the absolute void.
Upon waking on Sunday morning, I had a vague memory of being in some
sort of public dancehall or brothel. I focused upon the memory & used
my crystal to re-gain entrance to the astral. As my focus improved, I
utilized VIIIø Karezza to formulate the black crystal of Night within the
astral pouch around my neck. [I return to the dream]
Upon the stage is a middle aged woman of very powerful charisma. She
danced to her own internal music while clad only in myriad crystals. The
crystals are woven about her with very thin threads, leaving most of her
body exposed. Hanging {suspended in air} about a foot below her crotch--
between her legs-- is a fist-sized herkimer diamond.
At first I assumed it was supported by threads from her garment of tiny
gems, but then I noticed a single thin thread which linked the huge gem to
her vagina. I instinctively know that on the other end of the thread
[deep within her womb] I will find a similar sized black gemstone.
She becons me closer & I mount the stage. She dances around & over me
for a time & I find myself totally entranced.
I awake to a sharp pressure at the basal point of my spine. I am
within the net of jewels pressed against the priestess while her herkimer
diamond is pressed to my coccyx. She draws in her breath & the herkimer
is sucked upward into her vagina. I am drawn up by the attraction from
the vagina and pressed upward from the force of the herkimer pressing on
my tailbone. I momentarily blacked-out.
When I again became aware of my surroundings, I am within a black
hole {astronomical, not anatomical}. The universe of stars shine all
around me, but I know that it would be fruitless to attempt to egress
through the Vagina of Nuit, for a black hole absorbs all & allows exit to
nothing.
There is an alien pathway {through an odd twist in time & space} which
leads me deeper into the blackness of the dark star. There is much light
behind me, but none shines through the stygian blackness ahead of me. I
sense (but cannot see) the three-headed dog at my left side & another
(unknown) `presence' at my right side.
I travel onward in silence and without thought for quite some time.
Eventually I come to a well-lit cave which opens outward into a large open
marble palace bathed in yellow light.
Picture a marble floor as big as Manhattan island {only round},
surrounded by pillars of inestimable hight, and crowned by a roof as high
as the heavens. Through the open archways I can see the cold blue snow &
the black night sky which perpetually surrounds this place [how I know
this I do not know, for I do not remember being here before]. In the
center of the palacial room sits one of the elder gods upon a short pillar
of rough (red veined yellow) rock. His(her?) long nose is rimmed in
tentacles. The massive trunk of her(his?) body seems oddly incongruous
with the small leather-like bat wings perched upon his(her?) shoulders.
The hands each have seven fingers.
13 of these fingers are each adorned with a different colored gemstone
ring. As he(she?) puts her(his?) fingers together I see the pattern of
the colors & perceive the energy fields which surrounded them. On the
left hand is six rings, the fingers arranged in a circle such that the
colored stones form a color-wheel with red, blue, and green stones
separated by magenta, cyan, and yellow. The other hand is the same, only
the seventh finger (which bore a black stone) is held within the ring of
six. As I look upon these rings, their energy causes my mind to spin.
When my mind clears, I know where I have seen this place before. I had
caught the slightest glimpse of this place & this being when I had
traversed the gateway of Tindalos Hound Ichor which led between the
twisted planes (see previous entry). I am even now wearing the 14th ring
upon a string around my neck. {My ring is now clearly a brilliant
crystal, and not the stygian blackness which it emanated while it was upon
the astral}. I now seem to `remember' that I had not been `given' this
ring of clear crystal/utter blackness, but had snatched it just as I had
dashed back to the astral through my selfcreated gateway.
My instinctive reaction to this `memory' is to return the ring with an
apology for my un-remembered kleptomania, when I am reminded of the verse
from the De Vermis Mysteriis of Ludwig Prinn, which states clearly: "Never
accept a gift from a necromancer or demon. Steal it, buy it, earn it; but
never accept it as a gift or legacy."
Since I am now definitely within the reality which Lovecraft knew far
better than I, I put aside my native honesty & seek an escape route.
My self-created gateway is not sealed, but it is guarded by beings
which hurt my eyes if I try to look at them too closely. I cannot return
through the black-hole, for that pathway was most assuredly set-up as a
trap for me & is therefore a one-way street.
I then remembered that I am not only `here' {which I intuitively feel
to be on the Plateau of Leng}, but also back on the astral counterpart of
New York City, acting as the priest/(ess) in a Mass of the Mirror. I
focus my attention on the reality of my astral sexual being & feel the tug
of orgasmic flow. As I began to de-materialize from the plateau of Leng,
I reach out & snatch the black ring from the finger of the elder god.
I awake in the New York City brothel where I began my meditations 8
hours before. I am stretched out upon the bed/altar, being ministered to
by the two priestess-acolytes & the priest. The black stone is around my
neck & I hold the clear crystal in my hand. The elder god glares at us
through the upper mirror, but he(she?) dares not traverse this gateway
un-invited.
I take a brief nap upon this altar. All is dark. I have the
impression of being in the Scottish highlands (but I see/smell nothing).
I overhear a conversation between to men.
The first says that a tax must be levied to support the empire. The
second responds by saying that these people were freemen & would resist
any taxes, for they were not part of the empire & would gain no benefit
from the tax. The first sighs & says that an unpopular tax would (of
course) result in an up-rising. If the freemen win, the empire would be
in their hands; if they lost, they would become slaves to the will of the
empire. The voices were again silent as I drift into a light sleep.
I awake from my morning crystal free-float. I am back home again. The
New York City brothel/temple has been left on the astral. Neither stone
which I have thus far won from the elder god has yet managed to
materialize into concrete reality on Malkuth. These gems seem to be
potent tools upon the astral & beyond, but I have not yet found a way to
earth their reality on Malkuth or to fully comprehend their use. They do
seem to tie into the two pearls (black & white) which have been used by me
for HHH meditation & which appeared to me in my working which involved the
riddle of the pyramid & the entombed Masters of the Temple.
* * *
DREAM WORKING: Recorded 18 Nov.`82;
Did my evening VIIIø free-float with quartz after reading several more
chapter of Outside the Circles of Time.
I project into my temple in astral New York City via my quartz crystal.
I am working with a new priestess (professional) within a large round
room. Over the bed is positioned a clear crystal mirror angled towards
the North wall, which is a huge adamantine black mirror.
The priestess climaxes through my oral administrations & my
consciousness merges with hers as I am sucked-up through her vagina at the
point of her orgasm. United, we look at the clear mirror & project our
blank mind onto the clear skrying stone.
Within the clear reflection of the mirror of light is contained the
image of the black mirror upon the North wall, over our head. Within the
blackness, a sigil forms. It is not unlike the sigil of Aossic, but it is
distinctly different. It begins to waver -not through lack of focus,
but because it has a life of its own.
It rotates 120 degrees widdershins & transmutes into a human skull with
rams horns -it is UM-UR-`ATWIEL--333, the guardian of the abyss who has
been my friend & guide for years. Dangling from each horn & affixed in the
cranial suture are the three rings of primary pigment {chroma} [cyan,
magenta, yellow] while the three rings of primary light {spectrum} [red,
green, blue] are within his mouth & eyesockets.
He smiles & I/we are drawn up into the mirror (I having been absorbed
within my astral priestess). I am wearing my black & clear crystal rings.
I know not if I am on the astral, or up in the `real world'. Usually I am
able to use the color of my rings to determine my locus, but since I did
not consciously place the rings upon my fore-fingers, I am unable to
ascertain whether the rings are glowing with their astral light or with
their true colors (as they do glow upon the other side of the abyss).
The dis-embodied head of my guide is facing me, but receding quickly
down a corridor of uttermost blackness. I follow it as I utilize my rings
of power to `see' the walls of the passageway.
The tunnel is round & not very straight. Its curvature is very complex
(not a simple curve or spiral) & I sense that if I but had some outside
reference point I would be able to sense my passage through far more than
three dimensions.
The walls themselves are convoluted & rugose with waves of texture in
both the longitudinal & circumferential dimensions. There are a complex
pattern of different textures, each having a different wavelength, a
different amplitude, and a different pattern of texture. Where several
wave patterns meet or cross, coherant images can be briefly seen.
The pattern of these coherant images seem to make up a series of
vignettes, similar to the hallway of Tarot Trumps which lies on the
causway of initiation under the great pyramid, but these vignettes seem to
be living patterns rather than archtypes. They appear to be `snapshots'
at (random?) points of time which encapsulate history of life & culture
upon the material plane.
There are three spirals of vignettes which wind deosil in the direction
which I am traveling.
I pause to test an hypothesis.
I turn around & walk in the direction from whence I came. The three
patterns of vignettes dissapear & three other patterns emerge as a
widdershins spiral which run the opposite direction in time.
All six patterns tell the evolutionary history of the universe. Each
pattern tells the same story through the cultural `eyes' of a different
race. Three of these races travel `foward' in time, while the other three
travels `backwards in time' .
I terminate my brief experiment & rush to catch-up to my guide. I use
my large quartz crystal as my `movie camera' to record the passing images,
since I must focus my attentions on my path rather than on the scenery.
The tunnel branches into a complex maze of translucent tunnels (6 of them
--one for each strand of the pattern).
UM-UR-ATWIEL is nowhere to be found. I search the maze for any sign of
his passage. I find a clear place in one of the tunnel walls. It is a
window or a mirror (it seems to behave as both & yet neither). My guide
is now `outside' the pattern of tunnels, within the `nest' of strands of
the pattern.
I center myself before the mirror/window (both physically & within the
core of my being). I begin the ritual of the Bornless One & make the Sign
of the Opening of the Veil.
The mirror/window turns to black quicksilver & the rings on my
fingers change color [the black stone turns clear & the clear stone turns
black]. My quartz (which hangs suspended around my neck on the knot in
the end end of my umbilical chord) remains clear &
pulsating with a life all its own.
I make the Sign of the Enterer as I fall/project through the window
which is not a window .
I am `outside'.
My guide is as large as a small planet. The pattern of colored tubes
surround him like glowing worms or writhing eels. At one end of the maze
is a black hole, into which the strands of light merge & disappear. At
the other end of the maze is a star, out of which a single ray of clear
white light fragments into three of the colored tubes. Between these
three strands, I am barely able to discern three other strands, which
are formulated not from the light of the star, but through the effect
which its absence has upon the blackness of space itself. These strands
which are formulated from the darkness are the three strands of negative
time which emanate from
the black hole itself (rather than disappearing into it) & disperse into
the blackness of shadow which exists between the quanta of light coming
from the star.
I approach my guide. As I get closer to him, his size diminishes (or
does mine increase?). We are once again face to face & we are once
again within the palace which exists upon the stark plane of endless
night.
Eleven pylons uphold the structure of the palace. We are centered
under its roof. The roof is a flat disk, containing all the physical
matter in the universe. It is spinning at relativistic velocity [i.e.,
approaching the speed of light], propelled by the rotating sephira atop
each of the pylons. Beneath the center of this disk, the tidal forces
create a place outside of time. This is the palace which some (but not I)
call DIS. Upon its floor is inscribed the pattern which was given to me
over 9 years ago in a ritual to Ithaqa [Ithaca] the Windwalker (who is
also known as Hastur) --a ritual which culminated in a blood sacrifice
(bloody rabbit) brought to my magic circle by the hands of a non-magical
friend who knew not that blood was required for the rite being performed.
[See the end of this diary entry for details of that ritual.]
I know this palace of my vision {of this waking dream}, even as I
recognize the glyph upon the floor --it is my true home. I know that I
could choose to fuse with mine angel & the world would cease to be. The
disk of matter would cease to spin. The strands of matter would cease
their dance. Brahama would once again dream the dreamless sleep.
But although I am sometimes very weary of this world & its illusions, I
am not yet ready for sleep. My angel and I embrace rather than merge. He
kisses me & the ruby ring within his mouth is transferred to my mouth.
I flow back through the window which is not a window. I am now a
pulsation of energy which traverses the pattern upon the walls of the maze
rather than walks within its corridors. I traverse the path which
depicts the exploits & history of the race whose spectrum matches the
clear red of my newly acquired ruby ring. I sing with the energy which
courses through my being. I feel much, but remember no coherent images
of my travels. My quartz remembers our travels, but it speaks to me in
the language of crystals, not in any human tongue.
I fall backwards through the black mirror & am reflected by the clear
mirror back into the ajna of my asteral priestess. She convulses & I am
expelled from her womb -newly born, yet very old. I rub the slime which
covers my body into my quartz crystal, which I use to draw my spirit back
into my body by touching my crown, my third eye, my throat, & my heart. I
consume the ichor which remains. My newlyacquired ring is now tied to a
lock of my hair. I remove the ring from my hair & I see that the clear
red ruby ring has transformed to an opalescent aquamarine of mottled cyan
color.
As I gaze at the ring, I feel a gentle tug from the free-end of my
umbilical chord & as I blink my eyes, I am back in my human body sitting
at my word processor, putting this tale down in a form which is
intelligible to others. I now end this tale in order that I might go back
to the start of this tale in order to edit my free-form narrative into
intelligible paragraphs, adding details from the memories within my
quartz, and appending a more complete description of my ritual to Ithaqa
of a nearly a decade ago. Thanks to the magical crystals within my
computer & their complimentary allies within my magnetic disk storage
system, I will be able to complete my editing without the neccessity of
re-typing my narrative or using a scissors & paste to put my text in
order.
ADDENDUM: some of my rememberances of
the ritual of Ithaqa.
On the outer, a warmish winter afternoon was transformed into the icey
coldness of the innermost ring of Dante's hell. Over the course of 4
hours, the temperature had dropped from 50o (Farenheit) to 10o. By
midnight, the temperature had fallen to nearly 30 below zero with high
winds, a viscious ice storm & a blizzard of snow. Such weather changes
are extreme, even for Ithaca's unpredictable winters!
On the inner, I received a ritual and the image of a pattern. I am no
artist & I am no painter, yet I labored over a drawing of that pattern
for days. Then I photo-copied that pattern and made-up a set of small
stickers to be used by me over the years.
The Necronomicon ritual was also used by me over the ensuing years as
an aid to open-ing the trans-dimensional gateways within me to access that
part of me who did channel the Al Azif from beyond the Abyss.
The main invokation which I received as a result of that ritual so long
ago is as follows:
Thou that knowest the Gate, and the Guardian thereof
--who is Yog-Sothoth;
Thou that knowest the Great Old Ones, & the servitors thereof
--among whom are the Voormis, the Gugs,
and the Gaunts of the Night;
Thou that knowest the Unmapped Lands, & the names thereof
--among which are N'Kai,
Carcosa, and Far Kadath;
Thou do I call forth!
Thou that hast seen the Walker on the Wind;
Thou that hast heard the Howler in the Dark;
Thou that hast spoken the Name of the Unspeakable One;
Thou do I call forth!
Thou that knowest the Place of Hidden R'yleh;
Thou that holdest the Secret of Far Kadath;
Thou that keepest the Key to the Door of Yhe;
Thou do I call forth!
Thou that wast He who did write the Al-Azif;
Thou do I call forth from the Shadows!
Him that hath came is returned;
Him do I call forth again!
Him that hath set down the secrets is silenced;
Him do I bid speak again!
Him that abideth neither in darkness nor in light;
HIM DO I
CALL FORTH
FROM THE SHADOWS!
By the Five Pointed Star of Mnar,
and those who made it;
By the Sign of Kish,
and those who obey it;
By the Race of Yith,
and those who created it;
By the Assent of the Elder Gods,
By the Command of Nodens --
Lord of the Great Abyss,
By the Inneffable Name
which cannot be spoken;
LET HIM COME FORTH!
The pattern which showed itself to me during that ritual so long ago
began simply as a series of geometrical arcs which interpenetrated at
peculiar angles. Over the weeks it took me to construct & concretize this
glyph of the Universe, I began to attribute the Gods and Places of the
Lovecraftian mythos to it.
Once I had an accurate representation of the glyph which had etched
itself onto my mind & once I had worked-out the proper attributions of
God-names & Sacred Tunnels (10% inspiration & 90% research via the
glossaries of Lin Carter), I reproduced the glyph via photomechanical
methods to freeze the actuality of this potent tool. Even today I have
copies of this pattern, which is my Seal upon the Inner.
The overall pattern of the seal is a complex series of inter-pene-
trating threes. All the God-names are written in a slightly modified form
of the Enochian alphabet, with letters from the alphabet of the Magi
symbolizing
attibutes of a particular locus.
In the center is a complex pattern composed of the tri-lobed aspects of
AZAThOTh interpenetrating YOG-SOThOTh (the two sets of triplicities
which, while sometimes appearing chaotic & destructive, actually govern
the laws of probability & energy transfer within the Universe -see also
the two sets of triple strands in this vision) . NyARLATh-O-TEP & UBU-SAThYA are the Messengers whose
tendrils oscillate from this center outward to the next set of
triplicities.
The only triangle composed of straight lines symbolizes the 3 elements of:
Fire:{Cthugha} (RED)
Water:{Cthulhu} (GREEN)
AIR:{Hastur} (BLUE)
Between this triangle & the outer-most curved triangle lie the three sub-
elements, each ruled by a pair of deities as follows:
Fire/Water: Chaugnar-Faugn & Hydra (MAGENTA)
Water/Air: Dagon & Ithaqa (CYAN)
Air/Fire: Lloigor & Yig (YELLOW)
Between this triangle & the outer 3 circles are three regions ruled as follows {labeling pattern changes from convex to
concave at this point}:
Fire/Water: `UMR AT-TAWIL
Water/Air: Shub-Neggurath
Air/Fire: Tsathoggua
Surrounding this triangular pattern are the three circles or cycles of
Tunnels within the Earth {which are symbolic of the three veils of
negative existance, the AIN, the AIN SOPH, and the AIN SOPH AUR} which
proceed outward as follows:
C`N-YAN (red-litten)
YOTH (black-litten)
N`CAI
[all orthography above is transliterated back to English from the
Enochian, so is limited by the letters available in Enochian. For proper
use, the names of power should be adjusted to reflect the `flavor' of
whatever alphabet with which the Magickian chooses to work.]
[end of transcription]
DREAM WORKING: Recorded 24 Nov.`82;
I have just done some meditating upon the bookshop owner (original
dream not reproduced here). I definitely know him from somewhere or
somewhen. I now shall use my crystal to re-enter the dream.
I am in the coffeeshop & I am looking very hard at the bookshop
proprietor. The nimbus which surrounds his head is blinding. I take my
black pearl from its pouch around my neck & use it to absorb all the light
from the room. All is dark, but the bookseller's face is still
brilliantly enshrouded with light. All action freezes. All the actors
within the coffeeshop become statues, except for the bookseller & I. He
smiles at me & nods his head. He beckons me to approach him. He ex
tends his hand. It is incredibly old -not quite human. It triggers
memories within me. The hand is very lizard-like, yet very gentle (in a
very powerful way). There are no rings on any of the fingers, yet I can
perceive a set of rings which somehow `belong' on his fingers. The
bookseller does not wear the rings of Power, but he somehow `has access'
to them whenever he needs them.
The black stone materializes on the thumb of his six fingered hand. It
is far blacker & far older than the black stone which I wear about my
neck. The universe fades into utter blackness -all is void save his
face, which is still luminous, but can now be discerned within the cloud
of light which surrounds him. The face is definitely Atlantean. He is
one of the Old Race which guided the transition between lizards and humans
as the dominant species upon the earth. He is the guardian of forbidden
knowledge whose library transcends Time, Space, and Alternity so that it
can never be plundered by those who are not yet ready. The name Chozzar
comes to my mind, but I lack the certainty to test him with my
supposition. The ring evaporates from off his finger.
We are back in the coffeeshop. He asks me to put away my black stone.
I do so, & the `people' come back to life as the light is no longer being
trapped within my ring.
I then accompany him to his bookshop, which is empty, but not locked.
He goes behind the counter & asks to see my sigil. I show him my card
with the OTz PTN sigil engraved upon it. He smiles & says it is very
nice, but far too young to gain admittance to his shop. He asks if I have
any other sigils. I reach into the pouch wherin I keep my black & clear
stones & pull-out the map of the Universe given me during the Ithaqa
Working (see page above) & hand it to him. His smile broadens as he
fondles & smells the sigil.
He tells me that this sigil should be my seal for working upon the
inner, for it is older than Time itself. He asks me where I found it & I
recounted its history to him. He smiles again as he nods his head & tells
me that although the sigil is far beyond my earned grade, he will honor it
because he honors `they who did give me the seal'.
He then draws a `map' upon the back of the sigil, which I cannot see
(for to stare into that dimension makes my stomach turn & my eyesight go
all blurry). He tells me that this `map' will guide me to three places
which I will undoubtedly find `useful' in my quest.
I ask him for details on the places & he smiles broadly at me & begins
to laugh. Tears roll down his face as he struggles to compose himself.
He shakes his head in wonder as he looks to the heavens. He then becomes
very serious & states that if I really know so little of my quest or of
the sigil which has been allied to my destiny, then how do I expect to
carry out my duties.
I reply that I am but a simple pilgrim seeking wonders beyond the edges
of the known Universe. He scowls at me & takes me to a large tome. He
bids me to read the tome.
I look at the pages, but they are total gibberish to me. I strain to
`look' at them differently. I remove the clear crystal from my neck pouch
& cast a `different' light upon the text. The text is now seen to be
composed of diagrams, which seem to twist off their pages & lead me to
places which I cannot quite reach. The shopkeeper stares at me in wonder
ment. He asks if I have any other gems. I reach deep into the pouch
where I thought I had a ruby. It is not there, but I do have a stone
which is not quite visible. I take it out of the pouch & show it to him.
He smiles & tells me that the ruby is nice, but as yet it useless for it
is un-charged. He extends his hand & a ruby ring materializes as my
stomach flips with nausea. .
In the red light from the Atlantean's ruby, the page changes from
mathematical diagrams to a map of a large city. The perimeter of the city
forms a large equilateral triange. The center of the city exists on two
separate levels, connected by some sort of crystaline astral bridge.
Instinctively I know that the center of the city contains the
`University' complex which I have visited many times over the years. The
Atlantean smiles & points to three buildings which are marked prominantly
on the map.
Centered upon the south edge of the city is a large archway which leads
to the desert of the pyramids. I remember entering this gate in a vision
some time ago. I was out in the desert listening to the mumblings of the
Masters of the Temple, who had each imprisoned themselves in his/her own
unique pyramid of solitude because they feared to recognize the validity
of the other Masters who also lived within the City.
Again the Atlantean points to the map. The North point of the pyramid
contains the transdimensional mirror which leads to places beyond. I
recognize the mirror from the same vision as the pyramids. When the black
& white jewels are balanced, the aspirant may attempt passage through the
mirror. If the aspirant passes the test, he/she is never seen or heard
from again, for the gateway is a one-way street; if the aspirant fails, he
or she is projected down the Tree to his/her `earned' grade & must begin
the climb again.
The third building is near the lower University, but not actually
within its precincts. I have never seen it before. Outside is a simple
wooden sign with a complex design. There is a golden Horus head in profile
(facing right) with a barbed violet arrow shooting down out of its eye.
Below the Horus head is a blue-black claw clenching a lightning bolt of
forked white fire. Between the head & the claw are two crossed Peacock
feathers. At their crossing point there is a scale suspended from the
feathers. The pans of the scale contain sigils which I cannot see
clearly, but they are clearly out of balance. The lighning bolt from
below supports the heavy pan on the left, while the arrow from above adds
weight to the lighter pan on the right. Through the action of the
lightning & the arrow, the pans are effectively balanced.
I ask about this shop & he smiles and asks to see my sword.
Instinctively I reach for my samuri sword, which is stored always with me,
yet rarely visible. I am startled by my actions as I am unable to
comprehend how I am able to `reach' through that impossible angle to
pluck-forth the sword.
He smiles as he looks at the workmanship of the blade. He asks if I
have ever met any of the other Shadow Knights. I reply that none whom I
have ever met will admit to knowing of the organization. He laughs again
& commends me for my fine sense of humor. I am perplexed, but say nothing.
He tells me that the `shop' marked upon this map is an `extension' of
The Weapons Shop (in one of its many guises) as it can be perceived upon
this plane. It is accessable only to those whose Will is in accord with
the concept of `dynamic & assisted balance'. It is not run by or for the
Shadow Knights, but it is accessable to them, so long as they do not turn
too black.
The coin which the shopk
[my original Easy-Writer-II text file becomes garbled at this point.
Garbling was quite common in the primitive days of word processing!]
ChRySTAL VISIONS
thru
the
ASTRAL MIRROR
copyright 1984
by
Boleskine House,inc.
West Danby, NY
INTRODUCTION
Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law.
The response to Frater PVN's first volume of Astral & Dream Workings
has been overwhelming. Many people have written to tell is how much they
enjoy PVN's `un-polished' diary entries compared to the grave formality &
`seriousness' which characterizes so many of the standard texts on Sex
Magick & Alchemy.
Many of you have asked for more volumes from PVN's on-going Magickal
Record. We have convinced PVN to interupt work on latest project to edit
the series of diaries which you are now holding. It is with great
pleasure that we are able to bring you Volume II of his Diaries so much
sooner than expected.
The `disclaimers' regarding literal use of PVN's material which appeared
in Volume I also hold true for this volume. The Astral Plane is very
personal. Each aspirant is counciled to make h-is/er own contacts on the
inner & develop a personalized system of magick before undertaking to
duplicate or expand on the experiments of other magickians.
The material in this booklet should be thought of as `suggestive' & as
an `indication' of what may be accomplished by anyone who has the
inspiration & fortitude to locate his/her own inner gateways & explore
those regions which remain elusively `outside' the realms delineated in
standard texts.
It is to these intrepid explorers
of internal realities
that this present volume is dedicated.
Frater PVN is none other than Frater PVN who is the author of many
essays on Sexual Alchemy and Thelemic Politics. We have encouraged PVN to
supplement his dream & astral material with outlines & fragmentary essays
(also from his daily magickal record) to give readers an inkling of where
he gets his inspiration, & how he begins to work his ideas into viable
essays. We have always found that creativity in its `raw' state is often
exciting to behold, especially when all the `loose ends' are left
dangling, `as an excercise for the student'.
Some readers have asked us to reccommend texts or guidebooks to help
them learn to work with dreams via crystals. After doing a bit of
research on our own, & consulting with PVN, we have come to the
conclussion that alchemical techniques which can only be `hinted-at' in
books, must be `learned' by each seeker on an individual basis -- thru
internal hermetic exploration, &/or thru working in conjunction with
others who already practice astral projection, sex magick, and crystal
shamanism.
After much careful consideration, PVN feels that he has now reached
that stage of development where it is now his Will to pass-on
advise, guidance, & initiation to self-motivated seekers -- utilizing
techniques which he has found efficacious in his own work. For now,
he can offer counciling via crystal skrying, Tarot readings, etc.
Those with more advanced &/or personal needs will be able to work with
PVN to design special programs.
At present, much is still in the planning stages. If you would
like more information, contact PVN at Mumbo Jumbo Kathedral bbs.
Love is the law, love under will.
Yrs.for the Great Work,
Bill Siebert
(for Boleskine House)
* * *
Fragment from 15 Dec.`82
During dreams last night I did manage some Atlantean work. This
universe seems to have a propensity towards being a closed circle with
endless repititions unless one excercises free will in order to break
the cycle of inevitability.
The fall of Atlantis is in our collective past, yet it is also in
our future unless we do something to avoid it. For all intents &
purposes, this point in time is Atlantis. We are faced with both
nuclear destruction & invasion from outer space (the invaders are
being invoked by the fearful who want `our star brothers' to come &
put an end to the threat of nuclear destruction).
We could simply play-out one of the various destruction scenarios, or
we could break out of the cycle altogether through the use of
collective individual responsibility.
Atlantis & crystals are almost synonomous terms. Therein lies a key.
Now I must locate the appropriate lock.
Using free association, I link together the crystal shamans (Oh
Shinnah, myself, Rudy, etc.), the Space program (Carl Sagan, Tim
Leary), the OTO (both individual Branches & united Above the
Abyss), and computers. Crystals underlying the whole. The Atlantean
crystal has been fragmented (so I am told) by the previous destructive
end of the cycle. We all have a piece of it (probably within out
trans-temporal esoteric nervous system). We need to give up
exclusive rights to our individual pieces in order that we all may
gain unrestricted access to the whole. Space travel to remove some of
the eggs from our very fragile basket. Sex magick for personal
development & an end to jealous ridiculousness & territorial stupidity.
* * *
[here begins excerpts from Diary entry
for Wednesday, 29 December, 1982 e.v.]
I have just completed a two-day mini-working which I shall call
the chocolate cremecheese pie Working. Rich foods at bedtime
plunge my blood sugar down to a level where I am able to access
information with little or no dream overlays to hinder the information
flow. During neither night did I manage to reach the state of pure
information transfer, but the dreams were quite interesting, al-
though quite fragmented.
Night one gave me partial rememberance of a (series?) of vacations
which I do not think belong to this life (at least not yet). I went
to Boston & spent much time at the beaches on the ocean. While at
the sea, I relaxed & was able to release the sorrows within me. I
understood my purpose & my role in the formulation of the future.
Other Shadow Knights were on the beach also. The whole resort was a
kind of rest area for those whose main work is accomplished in their
dreams. I tried to remember as much as possible, but the memories are only
vague shadows. Binah brings rememberance, but my waking life is not
able to comprehend such rememberances yet. All I have is a vague
nostalgia for a vacation I do not remember having taken.
On the second night I was more able to extract concrete
information from the dreams & bring the information back to my waking
consciousness. I was in a region of astral New York City which I did
not recognize. It was a high class neighborhood with many opulant food
carts along a sidewalk in front of movie theaters. The theaters
were walled shut, but I knew I could enter them through the cracks in
the mortar.
I selected a movie about zombies, and oozed into the theater. In the
movie house, I met a doctor who had spent years investigating death &
immortality by sleeping in graveyards within a sensory deprivation tank.
His findings were of no suprize to me, even though I have never done such
research personally.
There are aspects of bodily function which need the symbiotic
realtionship of a fully conscious `soul', but there are also certain
bodily functions (certain aspects of healing & regeneration) which
require that the `soul' leave the body so the `lower' functions of the
body can regenerate without interferance.
During disease & old age, the soul must leave the body, or the body
will weaken & die. Most people in our society do not know how to cope
with such experiences & some lose their way while out of body. This
is one of the myriad origins of the comatose state. The doctor told
me that most people believe that death-mimicing coma is a nightmare of
the past (when medical science was unable to detect faint heartbeat,
respiration, etc.), but he assured me that it is every bit as common
today as it was two centuries ago.
Now, however, the doctors have been able to mask the symptoms through
prompt embalming to kill the body so the soul cannot return to
embarrass them. With proper medical supervision during coma
(refrigeration, blood pumps to keep the brain nourished, etc.) there is no
reason why a body cannot heal itself of any disease while the soul
goes off on a long astral trip (several years would not be extra-
ordinary).
But most people are not that attached to their bodies. When the
body is very ill, the soul simply leaves on a journey to find a new body
in its formative stages. The ensuing nine months of sensory
deprivation, coupled with the trauma of birth & the total un-coord-
ination of the new body causes severe mental imbalance & total amnesia.
But such problems are by no means mandatory.
With the proper training, a soul should be able to `commute' between
the old sick body & the new fetal body during the crucial nine
months. If the soul is actually out of body at the moment of birth,
but close enough to observe/participate in the birth, it should be
possible to retain complete awareness & full memory. Whether this is
desireable is yet another question.
Also some vague memories of entering an underground parking garage
with a demon's maw as an entrance. The ramp spiraled down
(deosil) with a shaft of light, flame, & smoke as the central core of the
helix. I extended my leather wings & rode the air currents down into
the pit at the center of the earth. I think this is where the
Boston/Binah vacation memories began the first night, but it is
difficult to assess clearly.
Time for bed. I will write more when my energy level is higher. I
will work more with my father tonight. If he needs a new home for his
soul, perhaps I can in someway ease the transition.
[note: PVN's father was sick at the time of this working and was
beginning his transition out of this life. PVN has never been
emotionally close to his father, but he is very much aware of the
presence of his father within his own nervous system.]
* * *
[here begins excerpt from diary entry
dated Thursday, 30 December, 1982 e.v.]
More strange/wonderful/bizzarre dreams last night {without the use
of chocolate cremecheese pie or other entheogens}. The dream is
fragmented, but seemingly connected in a way which still escapes me.
I have pieces of a holographic image, but not enough fragments to give
the image very clear resolution. I am fairly certain that as I tell my
tale, I will begin to perceive more fragments & be able to sort things
out as I type.
I entered the parking garage with the demon's maw entrance which
I remembered from the Boston/Binah dream. The central column of the
helical ramp was medly of forces involved in an on-going dance which
transcended both time & space. From below, fire & smoke pushed upwards,
while from above, clear light & gentle breezes pushed downwards.
Eddy currents & counterflows were the rule rather than the exception.
I spread my leather wings & became a flying lizard with ape-like
features. I coasted upon the wind as I spiraled downward. The parking
ramp became a series of grottos & tunnels whose entrances were
aranged in a spiral about the central shaft of light fire wind & smoke.
At each tunnel entrance there was one or more beings. Some were
human, but most were not. Some of these beings would occassionaly jump
out into the central column & sprout wings such as my own. As they
flew/glided in the wind & smoke, they would all gradually transform
themselves into a being such as myself -- a mamalian lizard with large
leather wings attached to the shoulder blades, powerful clawed
forearms with opposing thumbs, large kangaroo-like tail, rather feral
head, but with no visible hair. Most (like myself) were exadurated
androgynes with swollen breasts oozing milk from large hard nipples
complimented with stout purple veined cocks perpetually on the verge
of orgasmic explosion. Below pendulous testicles lurked a cavernous
vagina, which dripped sweet smelling juices into the air, bathing the
whole central column in a fog of holy dew.
I observed my fellows with only mild curiosity, fixing most of my
attention upon the caves & tunnels. Occassionaly one of my fellows
would land at the lip of a cave & I would see him/her transform into a
being which looked much like one of the beings already upon the ledge.
As I flew/coasted along, I felt drawn to one particular cave. It
looked `interesting' in a way which I cannot begin to explain. I
circled it a bit & then landed. A human came from the mouth of the cave
& greeted me with great formality. I instinctively returned the greeting
& was transformed into a teenage girl.
Memories a bit hazey at this point. I remember walking through
endless miles of caverns, guided by an old man dressed as a monk,
with flowing white hair & a beard. He held a sphere (about the size of
a tangerine) which gave off blue light which had a slight reddish tinge
to it.
The light was quite pure, but it was not sufficiently bright to
allow me to see clearly. We did not go in a straight path, for we
needed to pick up various items which had been stashed within the
cavern system over the aeons. By the time we finally emerged on the
surface, I had my arms full of various pieces of armor, weapons,
scrolls, and impliments which had no meaning for me.
My guide remained totally silent & carried naught but the blue
sphere. When we reached the surface, my guide motioned me to leave the
cave & join the group of people in a valley below us. He stayed
within the cave & I did not see him again.
Somehow I found myself amongst a group of people watching the sky. I
had no memories of the earlier portion of my dream or of any other
lives. Most of the people around me seemed to be peasants of some
kind. All were dressed in colorful clothing as if going to a festival.
Technology was in evidence, but not prominant. A light bi-plane circled
overhead.
Suddenly a large dragon flew over the ridge of hills & began
pursuing the biplane. I unsheathed my lance & threw it up in the air
(like a spear). The lance zoomed upwards for several hundred meters, but
my timing was off. It struck the tail of the biplane rather than the
dragon.
The lance fell back to earth & I went off to locate the lance so
that I could do battle with the dragon. I was dressed in light alloy
armor & I was somehow amused/confused that I was a girl. Somehow I
knew that I had once been other than a girl, but I couldn't trace the
memory very clearly.
The dragon had landed in one of the towers of the University & I
followed it without my lance. I took one of the short axes from one of
the decorative suits of armor in the hallway, by breaking the shaft
of the weapon to free it from the restraining bolt. I charged into
the room which had sheltered the dragon. The dragon had transformed
itself into a huge eyeball with tentacles. As I slashed at the eye I
sang:
Hail unto thee who art Ra in thy falling,
Even unto thee who art Ra in thy destruction;
Vengence is mine for the maidens whom thou has slain,
Death to the all-seeing eye of the God!
As I sang the song, something in me was vaugely uncomfortable
with the content. I somehow felt I was reciting a parody of
something else, but I could not place the context or the memory.
I was suddenly oversome with a very powerful urge to engage in
sex. This bewildered me somewhat (I think I was virginal). I was very
distrustful of the peasant men I saw as I felt they were not very gentle
or caring about the feelings of a warrior lass such as me. I bathed the
ichor of the Eye of Ra from off my body in a secluded pool & wandered
naked up to an old oak grove frequented by druids & faeries.
I located a band of gentle druids who initated me into the
magicks of sex & learned from them how to ride the winds of eternity.
They warned me never to ride the winds near the dark caves, or the
spirits of the darkness would steal my soul forever. I did not mock
their warnings, lest I offend them, but I could not heed the
warnings either. I loved to play amidst the windy caves near the top of
the old dark mountains where no other souls dared venture. The more
I played in these winds, the more I began to remember of other lives
beyond this peaceful valley. If the truth be known, I was very bored
when I was not astral tripping after sexual union.
One day I finally screwed up my courage enough to fly my astral
self directly into the darkest & most forboding of the caves. As I
flew, I left my memories in various caches along within the tunnel as
a trail to aid my return. But as I traveled I found other
memories, left there by another (perhaps even myself!) & I hungrily
devoured them as I flew. By the time I reached the column of fire,
wind, air, and light, I had all but forgotten my life amidst the
peasants & druids of the quiet valley. But I knew a little about the
many tunnels which branched outward from this spiral helix & of the
central core of duality. I lept off the edge of the path into the void
of flame & smoke as I shed the last remnants of my soul-stuff. My
demon body quickly formed around my central void & I became (once again)
one of those androgenous monsters who fly & glide between the fabrics of
reality.
Somehow I made it back to the tunnel entrance where I entered
the maze. I shed my androgenous mammalian-lizard body & reformed myself
into my `usual' astral form. I left via the maw of the parking ramp &
found myself in astral New York, near my astral temple in the red light
district. I went to my temple & committed the memories of this dream
to my dream crystal, to be stored there until my physical self was
ready & willing to commit this vision to paper.
[end of dream]
Very bizzarre! When I began this diary entry I had nothing more than
vauge fragments about flying in the parking garage, being some sort of a
dragon slaying female, & the battle with the giant eyeball. Somehow I am
developing a set of skills which allows me to `record' my dreams far more
lucidly than I can consciously remember.
* * *
[Here begins excerpt from entry for 19 January, 1983 e.v.]
The last two nights I have had a series of (seemingly) inter-
connected dreams which I feel belong to the Boston Dream cycle. It is
not easy to explain exactly what I mean by the Boston dream cycle, but I
shall do my best to clarify.
Those dreams which I remember as being powerful, initiatory, or
memorable are (for the most part) not isolated dreams, but part of a
larger group or family of dreams. For the sake of categorization, I
have broken the overall set of `magickal' dreams into subsets, even
though I fully realize that they are all part of the same major set.
Thus I have my `Lovecraftian' dreams, my `Pyramids in the Abyss' Dreams,
my `Druidic grove' dreams, my `University Beyond the Abyss' dreams, my
`Astral New York City' dreams, etc., etc., which all seem to over-lap
or impinge on one another sooner or later.
I have never really spent much time in Boston, so I really don't
understand why I can name this dream cycle with such certainty. It is
reminiscent of the great city which houses my University, just on the
Kether side of the Abyss. It is a large city, but with a friendly feel
to it (much like Ithaca), with lots going on in the way of Arts,
Science, tourism, etc. I usually go to this city as an invited guest, or
as a tourist at a nice hotel. I am always welcome & I always have a
good time. The sea is always in the background, but I rarely go to
the beach.
Of the dream from night before last, there is not much to say. I was
staying with Paul & Liz (but Liz was very different from her usual self.
It was a weeked party at a secluded house. In some ways it
reminds me of the place in which they held their wedding
reception, but much more massive. I met a woman there who really
knocked me off my feet. Not many details, but very strong nostalgic
feelings, as though I were remembering a sweet memory from a youth I never
had (at least not yet in this lifetime anyway).
Last night was more substantial. In some ways it felt like I
was back in the same dream, but on an entirely different level.
I was at the magickal convention which I dreamed of the night
before my letter from Miracle. I was speaking with an old Sufi woman
about Anne & the proccess of creating one's own soul. She spoke in
words, while I spaced out & went into a trance in which I saw the proccess
on a molecular level, devoid of most of the maya/ego/self-centeredness
which makes the process so difficult for those who are unable to
remember the theoretical mechanics behind the individual problem. The
old woman stopped talking & I returned to an awareness of my
surroundings.
She smiled & reminded me that one could not know one's office --
indeed, could not have an office! -- until the proccess of creating a
center had been undertaken & had been successful insofar as was
possible before entering service to the race. It was then & only then
that one would be able to see the various offices as enticements
rather than simply as burdensome chores.
She then named several of the Offices which she saw me as capable of
fulfilling. Some of them I could not hear clearly. She smiled when I
looked puzzled & nodded her head at me & said that I would learn when
the time was ripe.
She then took a small box (about 1.56" on a side) from beneath
her robe & handed it to me. She bid me to open it & accept the
bauble which it contained.
I opened the box & was immediately suckedinto the black maestrom of
force from the void within the box.
During ther next phase of the dream, I had no reccollection of the
previous portion of the dream, or of any reality beyond the one in which
I found myself.
I was some sort of quasi-human spirit guide to an old black
priest. When the man was about to die, I gave him a shiimering black
& silver chasuble in which he was to sing his own Requium Mass.
This was (of course) against the rules.
I was placed in a state of suspended animation until the end of
the world. When I awoke, everyone who had ever lived was being revived
at once. All were getting into groups behind their individaul patron
saints -- all the English behind Saint George, all the Irish behind
Saint Patrick, all the hookers behind Saint Floradora, etc., etc.
Somehow I managed to stray away from those who had not yet formed a
group in order to watch the parade. When nobody was looking, I ducked-
out completely.
I went `behind' the scenes via a tunnel used by electricians &
janitors. I stealthfully peered down a grate within the dark tunnel &
spied on some aliens who were in some sort of a control room. One of
them saw me & pushed up & over the grate & attempted to paralyse me
with the stingers on its tentacles.
I opened a small box which I had always carried {the box given to
me by the old Sufi woamn in the previous dream sequence} & a
brilliant white light blinded & confused the alien while I made my
escape.
Further along down the tunnel I was met by three guards (humans,
with ray guns) & they attempted to take me prisoner. After a
skirmish in which I temporarily stunned two of them, I left the tunnel &
made an attempt to escape from this reality altogether.
I began to remember that I did not belong here, but was only here to
observe & to learn, rather than become caught-up in local
politics. I changed myself into a rocket ship & took off.
I then created a simulacrum of myself to act as a decoy, should
they manage to trace me.
They did manage to find me. All of a sudden, there were two
aliens on the bridge with my decoy. They wore the outward form of
humans, but there was definitely something `snakey' and unsavory about
them. They seemed fooled by the simulacrum.
Since my true being was the rocket ship itself, I was around
the aliens while they `questioned' my decoy (whom they believed to be
me).
I did not understand the politics of this reality very well at
all. Seems there was some advanced races which were `staging' an end
of the world for a primitive human race & the advanced didn't want me
messing things up.
They started to search the flight control computer for information
after my simularcrum disolved during a rather intense set of ques-
tioning which caused it remember that it did not really exist. At first
they could not get the box open, but when they did, they regretted it
immediatly.
The cabin of the spacecraft was filled with brilliant white light.
I was drawn to the light, so I folded myself into the box & took the
box with me. As I was the plane which contained the two aliens,
they were forced through the vortex with me.
I was back with the old Sufi woman, only she was now young & very
sexually provacative. I held the small box on my palm & was in the
proccess of extracting a very massive ring, encrusted with jewels from
the box.
The ring itself was composed of two Ureas serpents, intertwined &
holding a round disk in their mouths. The disk was enammeled
metal, depicting the Necronomicon sigil. Locked to the rim of the
disk was a spider-web like wheel whose spokes held precious stones which
cast colored shadows upon the face of the disk.
The wheel could be aligned in many ways in relationship to the
enamaled disk beneath. As I rotated the wheel, the whole ring seemed to
transmute into an entirely different design.
The original design was not lost, but somehow `covered-up' as
though a hologram of another ring had been projected over the
design of the first ring.
In one orientation, the ring looked very much like a signet ring
bearing the seal of the OTO; in another it looked like one of the emblems
of the Shadow Knights; in yet another it bore the Papal insignia. As I
spun the dial I recognized dozens of insignia and failed to recognize
hundreds.
I asked the young Sufi woman if the ring actually carried the
authority of any of the organizations which it could seemingly mimic.
She looked at me with a crafty glimmer in her eyes as she told me that
all true initaiates would be able to see my ring was but a counterfeit
iff the real ring of Power for that particular organization were
manifest & in the hands of the rightful ruler of that sect, but that if
the rightful ruler were not in a position of power or if the Ring of
Power was not then manifest on the outer, then none could be certain
that my claims to office were invalid.
I became more puzzled than ever & the Sufi just laughed at me. I
asked what was the purpose of a magic ring which did not represent
real power. She told me that the power was very real, but was
diffused so that it could be used to focus the empowerment of whomever
wore the ring for whatever purpose was neccessary.
With the aid of this ring, anyone could manifest any valid
magickal current for as long as was neccessary to reify the true
contacts with the Fountainhead of the Current, but the ring could never
be mis-used by those who did not comprehend that the leadership of a
Magickal Order was an office appointed by the gods & not a bauble to be
passed-on to a favorite nephew or son.
As I continued to play with the ring, I recognized the facial
expressions of the two serpents whose inter-twined bodies formed the
band of the ring. They were the two aliens who had tracked me down in
the alternate reality of the previous dream sequence.
As I played with the ring, I noticed that the serpent beings were
still alive & that through their motions, the ring was fully
adjustable to fit any sized finger -- in fact it expanded from a circle
so tiny it could hold-tight to a human hair to a circle well over
three inches in diameter (3.141593" is a better approximation).
I held the ring up so the Sufi could see the huge maximum diameter
of the ring. She smiled & said that since I had discovered the trick of
expanding the ring, she would show me how to potentize the ring for
any/all magickal Currents.
She slipped the ring over my cock & balls, tweaked it tight, and led
me from the main convention room into a temple or shrine. The room was
dimly lit by the light of alcohol braziers perched upon the heads of
two huge stone Cobras. Between the Cobras was a Roman style couch with
lion claw feet holding crystal spheres covered in blue satin with
gold trim.
She led me to the couch, laid me down & mounted upon me. The bezel
of the ring pressed into her clittoris as she drew me inside of her.
The twin serpents seemed to bend over the couch as I passed into the
neither-neither state -- the flames from atop their heads
illuminating the dome of polished anthracite which formed the ceiling
of the room.
As the Sufi danced & gyrated upon the shaft of my penis, I could feel
the wheel of precious stones moving with relation to the
enameled disk. As different aspects came into cojunction & were
annionted with the elixirs of the priestess, an electric tingle passed
through me from the base of my anal chakra to the crown of my head.
The two stone serpents were now entwined over the couch (their two
heads being merged into one) & the flames at their head lept upward
each time the elctric jolt reached my crown chakra. At each flash of
the serpent flame, I saw images projected into the curved balck mirror
above me. The images were superimposed one over the other so fast
that I could neither seperate them into coherant vignettes, nor
serialize them into a linear story.
When both of our bodies were covered with sweet smelling sweat,
hounds came out from the inter-dimensional angles at the corners of the
room & began to lick the sweat from our bodies as we continued the opus.
Tentacles came from the mirror & consummed the dogs as we both came
to a mutual orgasm which caused the whole universe to project from
the spinning cock ring up through my spine & out into the mirror
& then then collapse back into me via the open crown chakra. As
the images surged through me back down into the ring, I became lost
within my own nervous system. My external senses of awareness closed
down completely & I fell into the ring along with the images.
I awoke. I was fully clothed. I was standing with an old Sufi
woman on a dirty street in New York City talking with her about the
changing role of the priesthood in this AEon. She smiled at me and
handed me a small box. I had a very strong sense of Deja-vu as I began
to lift the lid, but could not quite pin the feeling down.
The box contained an invisible ring which seemed to change and shift
as I moved it. It was too big to fit my finger. The old woman laughed
at me and said that I would grow to fit the ring when I was ready to
undertake its responsibilities. She passed her hands over my eyes & I
remembered the whole of this dream as I have recorded it. When she
removed her hands, I was alone, hanging in a void, playing with my two
crystals -- the dark & the clear.
* * *
[Here begins excerpt from
Diary entry of 21 February, 1983 e.v.]
Went back to bed after last entry (I am fighting off a cold) & spent
much time thinking about my letter to Frater ___. As I lay between sleep &
mundane reality, I began to feel a presence of power flow about me like a
warm & welcome shroud. I was very aware of a nostalgic longing for the
mystical reality in which there is no seperation between myself & the rest
of the Universe.
I invoked the god-form of PAN(NH) as used by me during my second
successful practice of Liber Astarte. PAN(NH) is the ultimate vessel of
the Universe. S/He contains the body of Nuit within H-is/er round belly.
My merge with the godform was not complete, but it did give me a
perspective from which to view the Universe.
I saw the body of NUIT from the outside. Within the continuous arch
of her body was the absolute void of which interstellar space is but the
palest shadow. But the void was not empty, for it contained the myriad
twinkles of the sisterhood of Stars. [I realize as I write this that a
void which is not empty is contradictory in this mundane reality of
Malkuth, but from the viewpoint of my vision, there was no contradiction.]
I was reminded of Crowley's Star Sponge vision & briefly wished he were
with me in the flesh so that we could compare & contrast our individual
perspectives.
In the center of the Void was a gigantic Star which appeared to be the
pivot point of the Universe. I knew instictively that it was the
fountainhead of the Order which lies beyond Da„th. As I watched, the
Star went Nova & spewed its star-stuff throughout the Multiverse. It
was as if the Hadit point of the Order had experienced the ultimate orgasm
which destroyed its individuality completely. The star-stuff expanded
outward to embrace the Universe & to Unite with the body of NUIT. As each
of the little stars passed through the cloud of star-stuff, it absorbed as
much of it as it was able. As each of the stars absorbed the ejaculation
from the Hadit-point, it became self-aware.
NOTE: [Before I get too much further in this little account of my vision,
I should point out that all that I write is allegory and analogy. What I
`saw' took place in a realm which is beyond time & space and is therefore
very difficult to speak of directly using the mundane languages of this
planet which were designed to speak of sensory reality. When I speak of
stars or planets or comets, I should not be construed to be speaking of
astronomical reality. I simply utilize what images I can to convey a
certain `feeling' for what I perceived. I do not wish to quibble over
linear details of my words, for my words are not my vision.]
I saw that each of the stars were alive & that each moved independ-
ently of the others, yet in their motion was harmony. Because of the
infussion of the jism from the Haditpoint, each believed itself to be the
center of the Universe. Each star was correct, yet each was also in error
-- for each Star is indeed the center of its own Universe, but insofar as
each Star is unable to perceive other Stars as also being the center of
the Universe, it is also in error. For the Stars themselves are not
stationary centers, but in constant motion. The dynamic pattern formed
from the interaction of all the Stars in the Universe is the true center
of the Body of NUIT.
I saw that the stars were not equal in their self-awareness, nor were
they equal in their ability to perceive their place within the pattern of
the whole. All contained the seed of initiation from the Hadit-point, yet
most seemed uninterested in nurturing the growth of this seed.
From my perspective, I saw that the dance of the Stars was an
initiatory pattern which nurtured that aspect of the essence of the
Fountainhead of the Order which exists within each of the Stars.
But I also saw all dances as transitory. Each dance of interaction was
capable of initiation, yet no one dance could fully embrace the totality
of the Universal experience. I saw/perceived many intertwining themes
repeat themselves endlessly as the spiral dances of the Stars sought to
reify the Fountainhead of the Order within the personal experience of each
& every individual Star.
But as I looked closer & closer I saw that the Stars were not alone in
the Universe. Most stars had one or more dark companions, whose Will was
to follow an intricate orbit about the parent Star. Such dark companions
sometimes impeded the orbital dance of the parent stars, for their dance
was not yet graceful enough to fully compliment the dance of the stars.
It was in those stystems where the orbits of the planets were freeest that
the stars were least impeded.
When a parent star grew old & finally went nova, it would spew out its
star-stuff to those in orbit around it in a microcosmic reenactment of
the primal orgasm. Some of the dark planets would then become stars on
their own, while others would choose another star to follow. I also saw
certain comets which were attached but loosly to a particular star; they
spent much of their time in a complex orbit among various stars in the
same neighborhood.
But here my attempts to communicate this vision begin to break down,
for most of these comets were also stars in their own right, whose dance
took them through the orbital plane of several other stars.
When these comets were in close proximity to another star, they shone
as brightly as the brighest of them, but when they were far from any of
their companion stars, they took on the appearance of the coldest planet.
Perhaps in this phase they might be likened to the Hermits spoken of in
Liber AL vel Legis. It seemed to be the purpose of these wandering
stars to disrupt the orbital patterns of those overly inert planets who
seem to hinder the dance of the stars.
From where I stood, it seemed to me that those steller systems which
were visited most frequently by the cometary wanderers were the systems
with the highest concentration of the life essence from the primal orgasm.
In some way which I cannot put into words, these wandering stars
regenerated the stable stars so that they could keep up the pace of their
intricate dance for far longer before they would grow old & go nova.
These wandering stars had no planets of their own (nor did they desire
any), but they did travel in the company of other wandering stars, which
were neither stars nor planets in any conventional sense of the word. It
is the function of these wandering stars to induce planets into Starhood
by unconventional methods.
My perspective shifted once again & I was able to see that each &
every star, planet & comet was involved in a complex dance within the body
of NUIT. The center of the circle is nowhere found, yet it could easily
be deduced from the intricate dance of Universal Will.
Each dancer is aware of the pattern insofar as s/he is in tune with the
dance. When the dancer becomes the pattern, s/he is in tune with the
Dance. When the dancer becomes the pattern, s/he becomes the embodiment
of the Hadit-point of the Universe & becomes a direct link to the
Fountainhead of the Order for those who have lost their step in the dance.
But the dance of each dancer is unique.
One may follow a particular dancer for a while to atune oneself with
the dance, but as one becomes atuned with the dance, one ceases to follow
any particular dancer, for each dancer must learn to follow the pattern
composed of all the dancers, rather than any particular dancer (no matter
how skilled any particular dancer may be).
Once a dancer is able to discern the overall pattern, and is able to
follow it, it then becomes his/her duty to assist in its on-going
evolution, rather than simply following it by rote.
Each star, planet & comet contains a unique blend of the essence from
the primal orgasm & therefore each dance is a uniquely valid expression
of the Pattern which re-creates the fountainhead of the Order within each
dancer, each according to h-is/er ability to receive, perceive & create
the Pattern within as well as without the individual.
My perspective shifted back into the dance itself. As I fell back
into my body I came to a realization that I am indeed one of the wan-
dering stars. I follow the dance insofar as I am able & I follow the
dancers whenever I lose my step. I shine when I am in the company of
those who shine & I keep my light well hidden (sometimes even from
myself!) when I am amidst the company of those who are not yet aware that
they are stars.
* * *
[Here begins the excerpt from my Diary
entry of 22 February, 1983 e.v.]
Very very strange dreams last night. While they were in progress, I
felt like I was in a terrifying nightmare, but once I awoke, I was able to
see that my dreams were simply a very intense learning experience. I
spent about an hour after I awoke in revery & dream reconstruction.
Very useful techniques for getting through the Malkuth overlays of really
intense dreams. I shall reconstruct the dreams as best as I can while
feeling free to cut thru the maya of the dream images where possible to
reveal glimpses of the fabric of the experience insofar as I am able.
Note: sometime during sleep my dream crystal migrated from my left hand to
under my body. When I awoke from the dream, my crystal was wedged firmly
into the base of my spine causing mild displeasure, but very intense
kundalini activity throughout the lower chakras (from solar plexus on
down). My body was filled with adrenalin (flight rather than fight) & I
was covered in a cold sweat, which I worked to absorb back into my body
during my dream reconstruction/revery & then cleansed off that which I was
unable to re-absorb with a post-revery bath/shower.
As usual, I had projected into sleep via VIIIø orgasm. I was wandering
amidst the theater district in Astral NYC & I came upon a used bookshop.
Anne was with me during this first segment of the dream. As we went into
the shop, we saw some members of the Tibetan Secret Police capture a
political refugee & haul him off to be crucified. I was slightly puzzled
because I had not realized that crucifiction was commonly used for
political activists in Tibet.
Once in the store I located a four volume set of books which would
answer all my questions about Tibet & crucifiction. I cannot remember the
title of the set, but it seemed to be some sort of magical encyclopedea
which could answer all questions. At first the type in the book was
totally incomprehensible, but as I stared at the page, I began to make
out many variations on the verb to crucify. I began to read the text
aloud (it seemed to be in some sort of barbarous tongue with some latin
marginalia) and...
The bookstore vanished & along with it vanished Anne & all memories of
anything outside of the reality in which I had found myself. I was in a
very old house which was decaying around me. Each time I looked into a
mirror, I would see myself looking older & more decayed. I knew that I was
not aging or rotting, but that the mirrors were somehow causing this
illussion (very much like one of the scenes in the movie Poltergeist).
As I began to look more deeply into the mirror, I saw another being
revealed in its depths. He (it was definitely a he) was wrapping my
reflection in old white cotton & mouldy cowbwebs. As he wrapped me up, he
mumbled a chant of illussion, fascination, and death.
He had three sisters, each of whom had long since died, but yet who
lived on in the mirror. He had wrapped them up long years before. When
he saw that I could see him, he smiled & drew his oldest sister in front
of my reflection, so that I would have to look through her in order to see
my own reflection. As I looked I became terrified for my mortal self.
The corpse flesh dropped loosly from her face & a worm was crawling out of
her half-eaten eye. As she smiled & beckoned to me, maggots and
cockaroaches fell from her mouth. I was totally repulsed & tried to run,
but instead I fell through the mirror.
Again no memory of anything which had transpired previously in the
dream or in any other reality.
I had been captured by a band of young thugs in their teens & early
twenties. Some of them looked punk while others looked like 1950's street
hoods.
One of them would torture me lightly & then promise even more tortures,
describing them in detail. I would go all to pieces & become a sobbing
hulk lieing in the fetal position at his feet. I was terrified of him.
This seemed to please him, so I acted more & more terrified of him,
even when I was not very fearful, for by pleasing him, he would not
torture me directly.
At one point in the dream he had me totally hysterical & he was so
overcome with his own power that he took down his pants & fucked the fold
in my leg behind my knee. His semen spread all over me & I remembered who
I was & that this was but a dream.
I was about to act when I heard a little voice within me to accept the
gift of semen & to use it to follow this man back to where he had come
from.
I awoke in my bed with my heart beating very fast. I was terrified.
After much meditation & calming myself down I remembered all of the
dream & went back into it as an observer looking for clues, using my dream
crystal annointed with the cold sweat from my body as a focus.
The four books are a key. I believe that they are written in Enochian,
but that they are also blank. That is to say, the four books correspond
to the four Enochain elemental realities, but that they contain invoka-
tions &/or evokations which we write into them via our unexpressed needs
for balance. When I looked into the book, I was looking for information
about political martyrdom, ascent of the Tree via the pillar of Severity &
the symbols of Tiphareth. Within the mirror were the three Fates & their
brother (about whom not very much is recorded). The sister who had
terrified me so much was Atropos, the inescapable one, whose magickal
weapon is the scissors for she breaks the thread of life. Here was my
link to my former master!
I return to the mirror. My brother is nowhere to be seen. My other
two sisters are very prominant in their roles of weaving & spinning the
thread of my life about the image of myself which dwells in the mirror. I
see them clearly and know them to be called (in English) Destiny & Chance.
My third sister once again dances between my image & myself, thus severing
the thread woven by Clotho & Lachesis.
I step foward & embrace Atropos. In so doing, I reach behind her &
touch the end of the thread she has broken. As I merge with the thread,
Atropos becomes younger & younger. She is still a corpse, but a very
sexually arrousing corpse. The maggots have made her cunt all sweet &
runny & the worms have loosened up her ass for my cock. As we couple, we
dance & my brother (now visible) does weave a spell around us both.
I am now on board the plane with my former Master. He does not know
me, for I am wearing the body of a woman. The plane explodes & I leave
the plane to follow the scent of he whom I follow.
I am back in the bookshop in Astral NYC. I recognize the shopkeeper as
Chozar, the Atlantean mage from the Age of Lizzard-men who became the
prototype for Choronzon. He smiles at me in greeting. I am holding one
of the four volumes of The Book of Universal Dance.
The volume I hold is bound in black leather & has a rose incised on the
front cover. The leather rose has thorns of stainless steel. One of the
thorns has pricked my finger & the book is now smeared with my blood.
I know I am on the Astral Plane. Therefore this text has taken on the
attributes of Yesod. This text is the text of Knowledge, which relates to
Swords, but here in Yesod, swords relate most easily to Cruelty & Despair
through the influences of Mars in Gemini.
I put down the book, for I know that it is not for me to attain this
book from this Place. Were I in Tiphaereth, this book would be a real
prize, but from here, it is a bit too `interesting' (as in the old Chinese
curse "May you lead an interesting life") for my present stage of
development. Perhaps one day, but certainly not now... and I especially
have no desire to take a book such as this back with me to Malkuth!
I enter the sleaziest men's room I can find & wipe the crud from the
mirror. My sisters welcome me as I gain entrance to their world with the
blood from my finger. Beyond the mirror, I have no reflection. Thus
there are no weavings of the fates to bind me nor to cut me off from my
task. I refresh myself at the Fountainhead & return to my body which sits
before the computer keyboard. Here ends this dream research for today.
* * *
[Here begins the excerpt from my Diary
entry dated 3 March, 1983 e.v.]
Only fragments of dream memories. The one part which sticks in my mind
had to do with a written `test' I was taking in which I had to evaluate
both my strong points & my flaws. As I wrote, I saw that my flaws & my
strong points were one & the same. It is all a matter of how I am able to
use them.
The dream also began a series of adventures with a woman whom I met in
the dream. She was so different from me that I had a very difficult
time suspending judgement long enough to learn from her. It was
difficult, but very instructive.
There was also a retromingence in Time in which the TV stars of M*A*S*H
were re-assigned to World War II, once they had completed their task of
humanizing the Korean War. {I was told by my mother that the final episode
of the M*A*S*H TV series was aired this past Monday evening after running
for 11 years -- I suspect there is a lot of strong feelings for this show
on the astral at this time}.
[editor's note: frater PVN has not watched tv
on a regular basis since the summer of 1963
-- hence the rather oblique reference
to the final episode of M*A*S*H.]
Somehow the Kundalini Serpent within each Adept must be induced to bend
back upon itself in order that the AL-Chemyst will gain the ability to re-
vivify the past without being compelled to relive the errors of the Past.
As A.O. Spare and Kenneth Grant point out, nostalgia is a key --
nostalgia for that which has not yet come to pass. Thanks to the re-
searchers in the field of Quantum Chromodynamics, it is now possible to
deduce, explore & mathematically map such a multi-Dimensioned Kundalini
Serpent.
The OroborO serpent can be seen as far more than a simple concept which
aspires to becoming a closed circle through the swallowing of its own
tail. This representation of the Fire Serpent can also be viewed as an
infinite regression of spirals which continualy fold back on themselves by
traversing Time in both directions (Future to Past as well as Past to
Future).
The OroborO Serpent is the summation of these recursive spirals over
all Time & all Space. Each seperate unit within this complex series of
spirals is able to act either independently &/or as a cohesive part of the
Macrocosmic Risen Kundalini even though the microcosmic units of this
Grand spiral are seperated by Time &/or Space.
The Serpent constantly overlaps its own coils, refining its essence
through self digestion & through a formula which is not unlike that of the
Phoenix.
With these ideas in mind (but not yet worked out in an articulate
manner), I performed my morning VIIIø. In the post-orgasmic swirl, I
managed to latch onto a concrete dream object. It was a book.
The book intrigued me for it contained that which I perceive as a non-
atomic quantum discontinuity within the fabric of Space/Time (i.e., a
total non-linear discontinuity which existed upon a Macrocosmic scale
rather than upon a sub-atomic scale).
While the book seemed to be real in-&- of-itself, I was also able to
perceive it as an allegorical representation of a Truth which I was not
able to apprehend directly in its pristine simplicity.
As I looked more deeply into the book, I saw that it was written in two
very different kinds of language (far different from each other than any
two human scripts). Although I had never seen either script before & was
unable to translate either of them (in the usual sense of the meaning of
translate), I was able to intuit much from what I was able to see during
my brief glimpse of the book.
The title of the book is the Book of Oblivion {I have a feeling that
Oblivion is a person (or perhaps an Office) as well as a state of being
aspired to by those who tire of the Wheel}.
The first portion of the text was written in a cursive script as might
be designed by an organic creature & reproduced mechanically via a
typrwriter of some sort. As I stared at various pages of the book, I
somehow knew that It was an ongoing magickal diary interspersed with a
series of guidelines for aspirants. The writer of the text was an advanced
adept.
Near the end of the first portion, the `tone' of the writing became
hesitant, apparently because the great adept became aware that all of
his(her?) initiations were but the faintest shadow of true Initiation.
Then came the quantum leap.
The text changed from an organically derived cursive to a series of
non-Euclidean alien symbols which intertwined over themselves all over
the page in a decidely disquieting non-linear fashion.
The only way I am able to describe the text is to say that it looked
vaugely mathematical, yet alive in a non-organic sort of way. It `sort
of' moved (without moving) in a way which I found profoundly disturbing.
I have seen texts which exhibited this kind of `motion' at other `places'
(away from Malkuth), yet I have no conscious recollection of seeing any
quite like this one.
I am amazed that I was able to glean as much from this book as I did,
for I only glimpsed it for an instant as I fell back into my body after
the not-very-exciting orgasm.
* * *
[Here begins M.R. entry dated SUNDAY,
the 6th Day of MARCH, 1983 e.v.]
Took Shroom Tea on Friday night with Anne. I was pleasantly suprised
at how nice it was. Lately (i.e., over the past year or so), the
intensity of a lot of my Shroom experiences has been less than pleasant.
I seem to be becoming more in line with my Will & I seem to be able to
allocate my time such that my Magick & my Malkuth are both being worked on
together, rather than one being at the expense of the other.
Other aspects of myself (from other Times &/or from other Dimensions)
were with me during various phases of the trip. No full manifestations of
other entities, but lots of activity just beneath the surface. I saw lots
of activity within Anne, but every time I worked to help bring it to the
surface, she lost Trust in herself (&/or the experience) and her ego mask
went rigid over the Window of her face so I could no longer see beyond
Anne. I suspect that if we had both been tripping harder, perhaps I would
have been able to get through.
I think I was somewhat hampered by `Lust of Result' in that I was
trying too hard for a full-blown manifestation of Higher Consciousness.
Ever since the UT manifestation, I have sought to be a `midwife' to assist
such experiences whenever & whereever I can. I have learned a lot, but
sometimes I can still be a bit too expectant & `helpful' -- i.e., my
helpfulness is really a hinderance.
Anne pointed out an interesting connection for me. Every Man & Every
Woman is a Star. The Star Trump is related to the Hebrew letter He, which
means window. Thus every Man & Woman are Windows for that which lies
beyond.
Lucifer was strong within me again during the Trip. The first-Born Son
of God as Lightbearer. He who is off on his own in order to solve the
problems inherant in the First creation. He who seeks to change the laws
of nature. Sometime I must sit down & write-up Lucifer's autobiography.
So many people see Lucifer as being against God, while he is really the
head of God's Research & Development team with Carte Blanche (from old
Long of Nose himself) to experiment with the Universe as a whole in order
to seek ways of improving it. In a lot of ways, Lucifer is an `art
critic' much like Johnathan Hoag (in the story by Robert Heinlein).
I need to get back to the concentrative & distillation phases of
alchemy. Mushroom tea is nice, but I am unable to make it as strong as
the alcoholic elixir. I need to trip heavy now that I am on better terms
with myself.
During the trip, I came to a better realization of why Lovecraft
would not eat seafood. He had a `contact' (Cthuhlu) who was of aquatic
origin. It is next to impossible to sort out the spacial or temporal
relationships among various inner-plane contacts. That is to say,
Lovecraft had no way of knowing which Planet or which Time Cthuluhu was
`from'. Therefore, Cthulhu may have evolved in earth's future from that
which is now considered to be seafood. Therefore: why risk eating that
which may be a neccessary evolutionary link for your contact. The reverse
is also standard practice -- i.e., the Great spider which I sometime
commune with does not now eat monkeys, even though they used to be a
staple of her diet before we made contact with one another.
* * *
Thus ends Volume II of ChRySTAL Visions thru the Astral Mirror. While
these tales can be entertaining & instructive even to those with no
serious interest in magick, I have been asked to provide a few `clues' for
those who would like to pursue these adventures on a more serious level.
PVN's system of Magick is a rather unique synthesis of Thelema, Science
Fantasy & `homegrown' American Shamanism, which can best be understood
by those who are well versed in the writings of Aleister Crowley, Kenneth
Grant, Austin O. Spare and Howard P. Lovecraft.
Crowley's writings are a maze of inter-connected essays, books,
poetry, and plays which span over 50 very prolific years. Even a partial
bibliogrpahy of the man's work would fill this entire pamphlet. PVN
advises those new to Magick to read whatever comes to hand, while keeping
good notes & re-reading to synthesize as new material becomes availabale.
In some ways, reading Crolwy is like learning a new language & culture
without benefit of any comprehensive books on grammar or syntax. The Tree
of Life provides the basic dictionary. Beyond that, the student is on
his own.
Kenneth Grant takes an entirely different approach. His books are
meticulous, well thought out, and progress in logical sequence from his
earliest (Magical Revival) to his latest (Outside the Circles of Time).
To those who would like to gain some insights into the historical
development of Frater PVN's personal sytem of magick, I would reccommend a
careful purusal of his older magickal records, many of which will soon be
on file at the Black Moon Magickal Archives.
[Here begins M.R. excerpt dated Monday, the 7th of March, 1983 e.v.]
To me, the Thelemic view of the aeons feels correct, but over-
simplistic. From my perspective, the aeons each have 3 aspects & at each
point in Time, there is One aspect of each of three aeons manifesting upon
the outer.
The Osirian aeon has 3 aspects which overlap throughout the Time which
Thelemites traditionally ascribe to the aeons of Isis, Osiris, & Horus.
In the first aspect, the body of Osiris is scattered throughout the
Space/Time Continuum (not just through Space). Emphasis is on disolution
& destruction. The formula of the Dying God in the aeon of Isis rarely
spoke of physical resurection.
In the Christian era (the aeon of Osiris), Jesus formed a direct channel
to Godhead via the rememberance of his role of Son of God (note the
influence of the innocenct child [Harpocrates] in the simple teachings of
Jesus). Emphasis is upon the Resurected Christ (Chrystos means annoint-
ed/smeared with semen). Re-memberance is derived from story of the
scattering of the hacked corpse of Osiris which was remembered by his wife
Isis & her sister Nephtys. But, the phallus of Osiris was never recovered
in the original allegory. In the microcosmic sense, Osiris was re-born
through Jesus & the link of God with Man was remembered by Jesus.
In this present aeon, it is the task of the human raceas a whole to re-
member their internal links with Godhead. Upon completion of this
formula, religion will no longer be a neccessary external link for anyone
-- i.e. the microcosmic Jesus will become macrosmic within the race as a
whole.
Thus, at the present time there are those who no longer need religion
because they are directly linked to Source (the non-theistic term for
divinity used by some Amerind Shamans). Such people sometimes find it
comfortable to wear the mask of Horus (the belicose punk adolescent who
asserts individuality whenever confronted by those who use religion as a
club to stifle creative genius).
Religion comes from the same latin root as regulation. It is
Spirituality mired down by bureaucracy which seems to prefer to follow
dead masters than work to provide an atmosphere for the creation of an on-
going lineage of living Masters. Religion (as presently practiced) seeks
to constrain all aspirants into the straight-jacket of a moral ideal as
seen through a very narrow historical perspective by those who fail to
grasp that the `Master' whose teachings they follow became a Master only
by throwing-off all restraints imposed upon him by the religions of his
times.
There are those who need such a straitjacket in order to remember who
they are. Such is the role of those who feel in need of external
salvation. These unregenerate souls follow the resteraining dictates of
the clerics in order to search for spiritual ecstacy within the framework
of a particular religion.
But once these internal links have been forged, the corpse resurects
itself in order to becomes a Light to the World.
Religion is like a brace which is designed to straighten a twisted
foot. When the foot has healed, the brace needs to be removed, else the
foot will surely become deformed.
Anne Landers once commented that Churches were hospitals for sinners,
not museums for saints.
As one mechanic I know phrased it --"If it ain't broken, don't fix it."
At the present time, the MAATian influence within this aeon is still too
new for me to write it about with any degree of certainty. Many diverse
people feel its pull strongly, yet most do not seem to have a unified
vision Presently, circumstances are much like the six blind men who sought
to describe the elephant.
Most MAATians & Thelemites feel the Christian legacy is just so much
elephant shit to be avoided or disposed of. Yet, even AChAD sought valid
magickal links with the Catholic Church at the end of his life --not as a
renunciation of his earlier pioneering work with the MAATian Current, but
in order to link the aeon of MAAT firmly into the aeon of Osiris as
Andahadna has done to link the aeon of MAAT into the aeon of Horus.
* * *
[Excerpt from M.R. dated Friday, the 11th day of March, 1983ev]
Very powerful dream last night. For the most part, it belongs to the
Boston cycle, but it touches on another cycle altogether which I shall
call (for now anyway) the Voudon cycle.
I was in a very fancy hotel. I was sharing a suite with some friends.
I think we were attending an SF Convention. All sorts of people began to
enter our room. They all seemed to be family members &/or friends of
older relatives.
Most the new people started smoking & passing lots of cigaretes around
the room the way people ususally pass joints. I & my friends were
grossed-out (as none of us smoke), but remained polite. One old woman
(whom I did not know) was holding my hand as she talked to me, so I was
unable to leave without being very obvious. She was telling me how
important it was that I was at this gathering & how she knew that I would
do a good job. .
As she was talking to me, I noticed that she had a small star engraved
into one of the lenses of one of her eyeglasses. It was small & off in one
corner of the lens, but I could not imagine how she could wear the glasses
without being constantly distracted by the faceted engraving of the star
(I think the star had 4 major points with 4 smaller points between them --
much like the representations of the Star of Bethlehem).
When someone walked toward me waving a dozen or so lit cigaretes
between his fingers, I wrenched myself free of the old woman & left my
suite to wander through the halls. I was not wearing any shoes, but I
knew that if I acted dignified & in-tune-with the spirit of this posh
hotel, nobody would notice my bare feet (i.e., I took on the Godform of
the King with his new clothes).
The halls were all carpeted & very nice to walk in. I went down the
stairs & found the swimming pool. I was about to enter the pool room, but
I heard a big commotion within the room. I stayed outside & peeked
through the doors.
There was a young athletic black man (early 20's) being held down &
dragged away by some armed guards who were not treating him very kindly.
The black man was naked. I became very aware of my improper attire for the
pool & decided to go elsewhere.
As I walked away form the pool a young girl (about 13 or so) came from
the poolroom & began to walk with me, while staring at me. At first I
thought she was making sexual advances, but then I saw that she was
reading one of the buttons on the strap to my shoulder bag (I cannot
remember the message she was reading).
We discussed the philosophy of the message as we walked & she
introduced me to her aunt (who was the same old woman with the star on her
eyeglasses whom I had left back in the suite). We talked about the
incident in the pool.
It seems that a black man (the only black in the hotel other than
servants) went to the pool & took off all his clothes & then lay down &
seemed to go into convulsions of some sort. When the guards came & he
would not go with them (he seemed oblivious to them), the guards beat him
& dragged him away. Both the young girl & the aunt felt that the man was
somehow temporarily deranged & that he needed more help than punishment.
Suddenly the scene shifted. I was on a desolate stretch of sand in a
salt marsh. I heard drums. I saw the flicker of torces off in the
distance. I went to investigate.
Lots of black people were involved in some sort of ritual. The black
man from the hotel (how I knew it was he, I do not know) was laying on his
back, buried in the sand. He was being held down by four young men who
were wearing ceremonial loinclothes, masks, & body paint. All four were
smoking cigars.
The man being restrained was wearing a huge iron mask with two pairs of
horns upon the brow, boar tusks with the mouth, & a fierce visage (much
like a Tibetan demon mask). An old black woman was standing at his feet
chanting as some assistants blew cigar smoke into the nostrils of the
mask.
A young black woman removed the sand from his body & he was allowed to
stand up. His wrists & ankles were shackled in iron & the mask was heavy,
so he could not move very fast. I somehow knew that the young black woman
would offer herself to him sexually, while the four young men would seek
to ensure that she was not damaged by the violence of the union.
I became aware of the young white girl & her aunt. They came over to
me to explain the ritual. The young black man & I had both been guests in
the hotel at a time when all the local blacks were preparing for the
sacred marriage of good & evil (a festival held once a year). As usual,
the devil had no intention of participating in the magickal rituals on the
terms of the local priestcraft & so had incarnated in one who was not an
initiate & one who was not under the guard of the priestcraft. The locals
had known that the devil might attempt such a ruse, which is why I had
been used as an unsuspecting decoy. But even when exposed to a room
filled with tobacco smoke, I had not been a sufficiently good lure for the
devil. Perhaps he had sensed the trap.
In any case, he chose the young black man at the pool. But the man was
so inately good that he chose to put his body into coma & convulssions
rather than become a vehicle for evil incarnate. After the hotel police
had taken him away, the Brotherhood (led by the old aunt with the star on
her glasses & the young girl) had notified the Sisterhood (the local
Voudon priestcraft) of what had transpired. The young man who was
possessed by the devil had been taken to the beach where the rite could
proceed as planned.
As we watched the sexual union on the beach, the young girl told me a
story.
"A long long time ago, people believed that if evil could be isolated
away from good, it could be destroyed. They therefore spent a great deal
of magickal energy to evoke the evil present in all humans. To a certain
limited extent, they succeeded --much to the detriment of the race.
Because of such magicks, evil was no longer imprisoned within beings who
were advanced enough to control it, but was free to seek out those who are
too weak &/or too short-sighted (i.e., the Hinkleys & the Mansons of the
world) to resist the temptations of power being offered by this imbalanced
egregore.
"It was now the duty of those who saw the fundamental error of
excorcism to reverse this powerful magickal current. By conjuring
manifest evil into an initiate & allowing it to fertilize a willing woman,
evil could be compelled to incarnate in human form. This child could then
be raised in full knowledge of its dual heritage & be initiated into the
Power of the Light as quickly as possible. Light without Darkness is weak
& impotent. Darkness without Light is blind & cruel. When the child of
Darkness & of Light is raised in the traditions of Justice & Power, it
regains the heritage of the Gods inherant within any balanced Human being.
"But the ritual has not yet been a total success. It is performed once
a year by each Temple of the Shadow Knights, each in their own way. Over
time, the ritual is modified in the light of successes & failures. The
race is slowing regaining its health, but more work is needed.
I asked what aspects of the ritual have proven themselves to be
crucial.
I was told that the priestess must be an initiate & be fully aware of
what will be expected of her, both during the ritual & for the next 30
years or so of her life --i.e., volunatary rape, bearing & raising a child
which is 1/2 demon-spawn.
The priest must be chosen by the devil. The priest must be restrained
(preferably by those who have played the role of priest in this rite in
earlier years) so that he cannot kill or seriously damage the priestess,
but the priest must not be restrained so much that the free-will of the
demon is abrogated entirely [a very trickey balance to maintain!].
The priestess must be able to take physical, emotional, &/or mental
abuse &/or insult without it having a negative effect on her own sense of
self-worth.
All present must repect & honor the union & respect the god-forms of
both the priest & priestess. The demon must not be loathed, nor feared &
neither the priest not priestess can be looked upon as `unclean' or `no
longer fit' for the inner mysteries of the Light as a result of having
participated in such a Union of Light & Darkness.
I awoke from the dream thinking of Frater 333 & the Choronzon Working.
Is the OTO (in its present state) ready to undertake responsibility for
such rites? The Order of the Shadow Knights must formulate itself before
such rites can even be contemplated on the physical plane.
* * *
[Diary entry for Tuesday, 15th day of March, 1983ev]
Almost managed to make the dream link I have been seeking for so long.
Although `almost' is not good enough, I still feel ebulant.
I was in a very chaotic dream state with images flashing past me so
quickly that I was unable to sort any of them --sort of like the very
`speedy' state which comes at the end of a very heavy mushroom trip.
Without warning, I was in a place of utter calm.
Before me was a young woman (blond, small frame, ambiguous age) dressed
in a flowing robe of lunar blue. She held out to me a carpet bag (which I
knew to be stuffed full of hundred dollar bills) in her right hand & a
very large crystal ball balanced on her left palm. I knew that I could
have either or both of these gifts (symbolic of mone | | |
