The Church of Euthanasia
   
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                  A BRIEF HISTORY OF THE CHURCH OF EUTHANASIA
                                       
   
   
   The Church of Euthanasia was inspired by a dream, in which Rev. Korda
   confronted an alien intelligence known as The Being who speaks for the
   inhabitants of Earth in other dimensions. The Being warned that our
   planet's ecosystem is failing, and that our leaders deny this. The
   Being asked why our leaders lie to us, and why so many of us believe
   these lies. Rev. Korda awoke from the dream moaning the church's now
   infamous slogan, Save the Planet - Kill Yourself.
   
   At the core of the church's theology is the belief that every aspect
   of the deepening global environmental crisis, including climate
   change, reduction of biodiversity, poisoning of the water and
   atmosphere, and topsoil erosion, directly results from the
   over-abundance of a single species: homo sapiens. The human population
   is increasing by one million every four days, according the
   Washington-based Population Reference Bureau. This is a net increase
   of 95 million per year, the current population of Mexico.
   
   Even a major war or epidemic hardly dents the rate of growth, and
   modern wars have tremendous environmental consequences. It is for
   these practical reasons, as well as moral ones, that the Euthanasists
   support only voluntary forms of population reduction, including
   suicide, free abortion, and sodomy, which they define as any sexual
   act not intended for procreation. They are also fiercely vegetarian,
   and support cannibalism for those who insist on eating flesh.
   
   According to church doctrine, the planet is a living, breathing
   organism, and is capable of defending itself if necessary. The
   church hopes to avoid the suffering this would entail by achieving a
   massive leap of consciousness in which human beings begin to think of
   themselves, not as individuals belonging to races or nation-states,
   but as a species. This species awareness would be the first step
   towards what Biodiversity author and population expert Paul Erlich
   calls "our absolute responsibility to protect what are our only known
   living companions in the universe."
   

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