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To: private email
From: tyagi@houseofkaos.abyss.com (nocTifer)
Subject: Satanism in Practice
Date: Thu, 3 Oct 1996 04:57:30 -0400 (EDT)
Orientation: House of Kaos, St. Joseph, Kali Fornika, US -- Kali Yuga

49961003  Aeon of the Adversary, Year 1; Hail Satan!

[question regarding my 'actions, choice-making and life objectives,
 as well as relationship to the inquirer and fellow humans' which
 is different in being a Satanist than if I wasn't a Satanist; not
 intending icons or rite, especially recently]

actions - used public transport to traverse 120 mi. round trip visit
          to SF museums on 'free wednesday', studying Indian (Buddhist,
          Hindu) iconography, reading about Chinese (Taoist) alchemy
          along the way, discussing ceremonial magick and its
          efficacy in daily life, talking about fabricating a shared
          home community of emotional-vulnerable individuals and
          reminiscing about old times of our experiments so far in
          this regard.  expressed my frustration and sorrow to my
          lover, who was my companion for the day, about our miscues
          and possible dissoluton of our open relationship.  wore
          once more my black robes in the SF fog, over my Indian
          whites, accented by an African ear-ring.

          have been composing a directory of local organizations and
          merchants who support the ideals of my Church: SODOMY,
          ABORTION, SUICIDE (or its results, few support self-
          termination), veganism (the alternative to which the
          church supports is CANNIBALISM for those who insist on
          eating flesh), and SATANISM (support of wild nature, both
          internal and external -- human and nonhuman).

          recently tore apart a temple room working after a 5-year
          composition setting into place personal yidams of dakinis
          in relation to myself as its central Siva-figure.  this
          appears to have brought about the dissolution of any sort
          of reliable connection to the Internet (as of the Lunar
          eclipse, interestingly enough, all of this is happening).
          unsure if this is a sign. ;>  

          I've got this temple (living/working space, featuring 
          dedicatory altar to Kali, Satan's sakti or power as I know
          and understand Her) down to about half the size of the
          room and am attempting to minimize even further the area
          of my residence in a continuing ascetic trend (balanced
          by indulgences in other areas like sex, psychoactives in
          ritual or as celebratory rites on holy days, which I have
          defined).

          reviewing book edited by Isaac Asimov, #8 in his series
          on 'Magical Worlds of Fantasy' called _Devils_.  a batch
          of short stories featuring Our Hero (the Dark Lord, mostly
          Christian-style).  read aloud one story to my lover written
          by Robert Bloch entitled 'That Hell-Bound Train' which is
          highly reminiscent of Hesse's _Siddhartha_.

          sent email last night to my other lover, open relationship,
          discussing a shared occult home we've been considering and
          negotiating over a distance.  asked her many quite
          direct questions concerning our differences, acknowledging
          that we may not be able to make this work given my desire
          to live in a home in which we are emotionally interactive
          and that I desire my lovers to be part of the same house if
          at all possible.

          gave my recent and still not-functioning ISP an ultimatim
          in email that if it isn't resolved to my satisfaction by
          week's end I want my $ back and will take my business
          elsewhere.

          I might be alot easier on these people and orgs if I wasn't
          wasn't a practicing Satanist (more below).


choices/objectives - choosing my dedication to my goddess and Her
          wild nature (Satan) over my personal relationships even
          to the point of their dissolution (I don't see this as
          happening right away, but I am consistently risking this
          outcome by placing my priorities on choosing freedom
          of expression and the health (hail) of the wilderness 
          (satan) rather than settle for what is comfortable or
          what may seem a short-term gain on my own part.

          my objectives include catalyzing a combined occult and
          ecological movement at least in my local area (my life
          if nothing more, possibly others in my general vicinity)
          that includes real lifestyle changes that will impact
          the forces of establishment eco-destruction.  they also
          include the complete tearing away of the veil of secrecy
          obscuring such subjects as magick and sexuality.

relationship to you/others -- I am willing to be your goad, a lorax,
          an adversary (satan), not only in terms of how you behave
          and think about the notions of things like death and spells,
          but also how you see the 'negative' aspects of nature, of
          which we all are part, and of which I contend cities are 
          also part (though potentially cancerous at present).  I will 
          likely be extremely syncretic and eclectic in this way,
          perhaps even co-opting your favorite terms (like 'Satanism'!)
          in order to achieve my objectives.  I don't intend to violate
          you, though I do find counter-propaganda to be effective when
          in the service of Gaia/Kali.

my Satanism proceeds from my pact with Satan in service to Hir health
          and welfare.  if you cannot see what my actions et al above
          have to do with service to wild nature (even minimally), 
          then I'd explain as best I'm able in order to assist you in
          so doing.  I am only self-initiated in June, but I've been
          preparing for this in many ways for the entirety of my life.
          my Satanism is a catalysis and symbol of my adversarial
          role to my society and the intentional manifestation of that
          Shadow of my culture as best as I can determine its essence.
          you may differ with me over the nature and accuracy of my
          determination, but I hope you see where I'm headed with this.

a major success in my work would be participation in the resolution of
the divide between nature-based religious factions through what must be
difficult and honest sharing of who we are and what we wish to do with
one another, finding how we can support each other's worship and 
general religious freedoms/rights/expressions.  this is nowhere more
centrally-symbolized than within this email forum.

blessed beast!

nocTifer
 mailto:tyagi@houseofkaos.abyss.com 


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