From: vmf@acpub.duke.edu (Virginia Fleming)
Newsgroups: alt.polyamory,alt.magick,alt.pagan
Subject: Re: Sacred Sex
Date: 19 Mar 1994 01:38:04 GMT


Jim Baranski   wrote:
> The closest thing that I've come to "sacred sex" has been... 
> A:  spending long hours lavishing sensual attention on my honey... Yum...
> B:A VFOE that happened with my first true "lover" (notice I didn't
>   say "love").  One morning I was lying in bed *thinking* about her,
>   and 'humming' to myself, when-suddenly-it was like she was
>   *really* there, in my mind, in my imagination, making love with
>   me.  When I dream, I usually have some control over my dreams, and
>   I know I'm dreaming.  In this 'dream' it was no longer my dream,
>   and I was no longer in control of it.  It was like we were
>   mentally making love, without our bodies getting in the way.
>   Like, Far Out!  Too Weird!  At the time, she was in another state,
>   and she reported a similiar exprience.
> C:A recollection during a Polarity of when I was a small boy, coming
>   in after playing outside, and lying down next to my dog in the
>   sun, on the linoleum kitchen floor in the warm sun, listening to
>   my mother ironing, and smelling the sun on the dog, and the iron
>   steam...

It seems to me that what might link these experiences is a certain
ineffable way that sensuality and spirituality have come together.
One of the ways I work with my class is to encourage a deep sense of
spirituality in things we normally don't consciously imbue with that
quality.  So we work with altars--creating a sacred space, decorating
it and making it beautiful, and then placing things on those altars
that have power in our everyday lives, but that we don't often make
sacred.  I recommended my class do an altar for their own physical
bodies and they got really creative.  Many liked having a sacred place
to put vitamins and medicines and lotions and perfumes, and sex toys
and birth control stuff.  One did a great thing with dressing up a
full length mirror with scarves and a hat...

> For me, 'sacred sex' would be doing  would make my partner
> feel really and truely, totally loved, that nothing else in the
> universe mattered, and that nothing would every change that...
> What techniques can be used to accomplish this, I have only a few
> clues...

The tried and true method I know of to do this is to treat the beloved
as if they were a human embodiment of the divine.  How would you treat
a lover who was actually the god or goddess?  How would you prepare
the room, and yourself?  What gifts or offerings could you offer this
creature who has unimaginable power?  Another way to bring this home
to yourself would be to imagine that this is the one time you can
afford in this lifetime to come to the temple and make your visit to
the Goddess--what would you do for/during this life changing
experience?

Virginia