Area : I_UFO

Date : Wed Apr 24, 22:39                                                       
From : Don Allen                                                1:3618/2
To   : All                                 
Subj : Halebop                                                               
ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ

* Forwarded from ASTRONET
* Originally By: Geoff Cross
* Originally To: Scott Stasiowski
* Originally Re: Halebop
* Originally Dated: Monday April 22 1996 00:00
______________________________________________________________________

I've been having mail problems up here. This msg apparently didn't 
make it out, so I'm reposting it. My apologies if this has already 
been seen, but I know it didn't make it from one side of Toronto to 
the other...

->The evil gnome Scott Stasiowski cackled to All on 16 Apr 96  18:24:00
->We looked on:

 SS> Whats the latest on the Art Bell Halebok thing in space?

Art Bell Halebop, or ABH as astronomers usually call it, was one of 
the lesser inner moons of Jupiter which was dislodged from its orbit 
by a piece of comet SL9 last year. 

When it was a moon of Jupiter, it was called Festus, after the Greek 
god of distilled spirits (Bacchus, of course, was the god of wine, 
and Labatto was the god of beer). It has a diameter of approx. 220 
km. 

Perhaps you saw the recent discussions in here about it - what 
constitutes a planet - what constitutes a moon. Well, it went into a 
highly elongated eliptical orbit about the Sun, and now a debate 
rages whether it's still a moon, or should be called a planet. There 
won't be much time to decide the issue because incredibly precise 
calculations by a Cray II supercomputer at the University of 
Tuktoyaktuk (Northern Campus) have shown that its orbit and the 
Earth's will intersect on March 15, 1997, whereupon it will smash 
into the heart of Iraq.

Some wags have suggested it couldn't happen to a nicer place, but 
they don't understand that it doesn't matter where it hits - an 
object of that size, hurtling into the Earth at approx. 64,000 km/hr 
will, at the least, destroy all life on Earth (except as noted 
below), and may even (due to intense shock waves) start a fission 
reaction in the Earth's core, causing our planet to blow up.

The significance of the date is not lost on many people - the Ides 
of March have long been associated with death, so bible thumpers are 
saying it is foretold in the bible, and The Secret and Sacred Order 
of the Disciples of Nostradamus say he knew it all along, and so on. 
It would take but the smallest change in ABH's orbit to have it hit 
a day before or after - they'll look pretty foolish then, won't they?

A sad irony of this is that the fall-out shelter business, which 
collapsed in the mid-60s, has almost overnight blossomed into a 
$200 billion a year business. Obviously, it has no possibility as a 
growth industry, and what good is money if there is nowhere to spend it?

The elite of American and Russian military, among others, are 
sitting pretty with their massive complexes of underground shelters 
and provisions, and are taking steps to further reinforce the 
shelters against the expected hordes of panic-stricken people trying 
to get in just before ABH hits. I was just reading in USA Today that 
there is a bill before the House of Congress that Congressmen and 
Senators be declared Generals of the People, and will therefore be 
eligible for protection in the Carlsbad Caverns.

Personally, I've taken a fatalistic approach to the whole thing - 
I've started a shelter construction company, and business is, to say 
the least, booming. If it hits, it hits - if not, I'll be filthy 
rich. If you tell me where you live, I'll be able to recommend a 
reputable shelter company in your area - a lot of shysters out there 
are throwing together crap that wouldn't survive a hailstorm.


... Scruples are for people with no balls and a conscience.



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