From: bobworn@aol.com
Subject: SNET: Amerika My Amerika - Thanks Annie
Date: 6 Aug 2000 15:35:12 -0400
To: BOBWORN@aol.com

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 IDIOTS AT WORK... 
     I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when
 the clerk noticed that I had never signed my name on the back of the
 credit card. She informed me that she could not complete the transaction
 unless the card was signed. When I asked why, she explained that it was
 necessary to compare the signature on the credit card with the signature
 I just signed on the receipt. So I signed the credit card in front of
 her. She carefully compared that signature to the one I signed on the
 receipt. As luck would have it, they matched.     

ADVICE FOR IDIOTS 
     An actual tip from page 16 of the HP "Environmental, Health
 & Safety Handbook for Employees: "Blink your eyelids periodically to
 lubricate your eyes." 

     IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD 
     I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor
 call the local township administrative office to request the removal of
 the Deer Crossing sign on our road. The reason: Many deer were being hit
 by cars and he no longer wanted them to cross there.

     IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE 
     My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco.
 She asked the individual behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He
 said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg.

     IDIOT SIGHTINGS Sighting #1: 
     I was at the airport, checking in at the gate, when the
 airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without
 your knowledge?" I said, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I
 know?" He smiled and nodded knowingly, "That's why we ask."

     Sighting #2: 
     The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it is safe to cross
 the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged co-worker
 of mine, when she asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained
 that it signals to blind people when the light is red. She responded,
 appalled, "What on earth are blind people doing driving?"

     Sighting #3: 
     At a good-bye lunch for an old and dear coworker who is
 leaving the company due to "downsizing," our manager spoke up and said,
 "this is fun. We should have lunch like this more often." Not another
 word was spoken. We just looked at each other like deer staring into the
 headlights of an approaching truck. 

     Sighting #4: 
     I worked with an Individual who plugged her power strip back
 into itself and for the life of her could not understand why her system
 would not turn on. 

     Sighting #5: 
     When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to
 pick up our car, we were told that the keys had been accidentally locked
 in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working
     feverishly to unlock the driver's side door. As I watched
 from the passenger's side, I instinctively tried the door handle and
 discovered it      was open. "Hey," I announced to the technician, "It's 
open!"
 "I know," answered the young man.- "I already got that side."


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