From: bobworn@aol.com
Subject: SNET: Apologize?  To Lawyers?  HAH?
Date: 28 May 2000 10:26:00 -0400
To: BOBWORN@aol.com

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http://www.capitolhillblue.com/rantarchive/dailyrant052600.asp

Apologize? What for?

May 26, 2000

Learned something new this week.

Lawyers can read.

Or, at least, they have somebody around who can read things to them.

A number of those who engage in the so-called "practice" of law got 
their panties in a bunch over our column that said Bill Clinton had hit 
a new low when even lawyers didn't want anything to do with them.

"You do a great disservice to lawyers by lumping them all together as 
liars, crooks and cheats," one wrote. "You owe the legal profession an 
apology."

Sorry folks. As F. Ross Johnson, former CEO of RJR Nabisco once said, 
the only thing I expect out of lawyers is that they be back in their 
coffins by sunup.

Apologize to the legal profession? For what? For turning the United 
States into the most litigious society on earth? For giving us a country 
where money-grubbing trial attorneys sue everybody in sight? For 
dominating virtually every state legislature and the Congress of the 
United States and inundating us with laws that serve no other purpose 
than to line their own pockets?

Perhaps there was a time when those who practiced law could hold their 
heads high, but that time has long since passed. The legal profession is 
now dominated by ambulance chasers that misuse the law to fatten their 
bank accounts at the expense of companies with deep pockets. No one need 
be responsible for their actions, not in today's world where there is 
always a shyster at hand ready to hang that burden on any corporate or 
government entity with a fat bank account.

Got drunk, wrecked your car and hurt yourself? No problem. Just hire a 
lawyer to sue the restaurant chain that employed the bartender who 
served you the drinks. Fell over your own feet and broke your arm? Sue 
the city. It must have been an uneven sidewalk.

Your son was shot and killed by a three-time loser with a stolen gun. 
Don't sue the judicial system that let the felon walk. Nah. Sue the gun 
manufacturer. Obviously, they should have known the gun would be stolen, 
so they shouldn't have made it in the first place.

The sheer incompetence of former assistant Los Angeles County district 
attorney Marcia Clark and her gang of losers made it possible for a 
killer like O.J. Simpson to still walk the streets. When you combine the 
stupidity of lawyers like her with the anything-for-a-fat fee legal 
strategies of Simpson defense attorney Johnny Cochran, the real loser 
was justice.

It's no coincidence Bill Clinton surrounds himself with lawyers. Like 
him, they believe truth is irrelevant, that all statements are subject 
to interpretation and spin and that nothing is wrong as long as there is 
a loophole that can be exploited.

Bill Clinton lied to a federal court and was found in contempt for it. 
But that didn't stop the American Bar Association from inviting him to 
speak at their convention. By doing so, the association that represents 
the legal profession as a while condoned the illegal actions of one of 
their own.

Such actions remove any claim by the legal profession that they are 
being tarred with a broad brush. As long as lawyers tolerate the Bill 
Clintons, the Marcia Clarks, the William Ginsburgs and all the ambulance 
chasers, bottom feeders and miscreants in their midst, they cannot hide 
behind the standard excuse that "every profession has its misfits."

We stand by our belief that the legal profession, like Congress, is a 
haven for crooks, liars, cheats, swindlers and other masters of 
malfeasance.

If you don't like it, sue us. We'll stand on the belief that truth is an 
absolute defense.

(Doug Thompson is the founder of Capitol Hill Blue. He is also the 
founder of killalllawyers.com, a collection of some of the best lawyer 
jokes on the Internet. The Rant appears on Mondays, Wednesday and 
Fridays or whenever the mood suits him) 





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