Date: Wed, 27 Jan 1999 18:36:00 -0500
From: Ross Sauer 
Subject: "I'm flying!" crash [1-2]

 >>> Part 1 of 2...
 
Note from Ross:
"Off we go, into the wild blue yonder....." *crunch*  
 
Your 'Have A Nice Day' Laugh is:
 
More from David and Va:
 
                  Aviation 101
 
  Takeoff's are optional.  Landings are mandatory.
 
  If God meant man to fly, He'd have given him more money.
 
  If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger, if you
  pull the stick back they get smaller.  (Unless you keep pulling
  the stick back -then they get bigger again)
 
  Flying is not dangerous; crashing is dangerous.
 
  It's better to be down here wishing you were up there, than up
  there wishing you were down here.
 
  The propeller is just a big fan in the front of the plane to keep
  the pilot cool.  Want proof?  Make it stop; then watch the pilot
  break out into a sweat.
 
  Speed is life, altitude is life insurance.No one has ever collided
  with the sky.
 
  It's best to keep the pointed end going forward as much as possible.
 
  The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.
 
  Flying is the second greatest thrill known to man.... Landing is
  the first!
 
  Every one already knows the definition of a 'good' landing is one from
  which you can walk away.  But very few know the definition of a 'great
  landing.' It's one after which you can use the airplane another time.
 
  The probability of survival is equal to the angle of arrival.
 
  Always remember you fly an airplane with your head, not your hands.
  Never let an airplane take you somewhere your brain didn't get to
  five minutes earlier.
 
  You know you've landed with the wheels up when it takes full power
  to taxi.
 
  Those who hoot with the owls by night, should not fly with the
  eagles by day.
 
  A helicopter is a collection of rotating parts going round and round
  and reciprocating parts going up and down - all of them trying to
  become random in motion.  Helicopters can't really fly - they're
  just so ugly that the earth immediately repels them.
 
  Young man, was that a landing or were we shot down?
 
  Learn from the mistakes of others.  You won't live long enough to
  make all of them yourself.
 
  Trust your captain .... but keep your seat belt securely fastened.
 
  Any pilot who relies on a terminal forecast can be sold the Brooklyn
  Bridge. If he relies on winds-aloft reports he can be sold Niagara
  Falls.
 
  Good judgment comes from experience and experience comes from bad
  judgment.
 
  Aviation is not so much a profession as it is a disease.
 
  There are three simple rules for making a smooth landing: Unfortunately,
  no one knows what they are.
 
  The only thing worse than a captain who never flew as copilot is a
  copilot who once was a captain.
 
  Be nice to your first officer, he may be your captain at your
  next airline.
 
  Any attempt to stretch fuel is guaranteed to increase headwind.
 
  A thunderstorm is never as bad on the inside as it appears on the
  outside.  It's worse.
 
  Son, I was flying airplanes for a living when you were still in
  liquid form.
 
  It's easy to make a small fortune in aviation.  You start with a
  large fortune.
 
  A male pilot is a confused soul who talks about women when he's
  flying, and about flying when he's with a woman.
 
  A fool and his money are soon flying more airplane than he can handle.
 
  Remember, you're always a student in an airplane.
 
  Keep looking around; there's always something you've missed.
 
  Try to keep the number of your landings equal to the number of your
  takeoffs.
 
  You cannot propel yourself forward by patting yourself on the back.
 
 >>> Continued to next message...
 
___ Blue Wave/QWK v2.20 [NR]


 >>> Part 2 of 2...
 
 
  There are old pilots, and there are bold pilots, but there are no
  old, bold, pilots!
 
  Things which do you no good in aviation: Altitude above you. Runway
  behind you.  Fuel in the truck.  Half a second ago.  Approach plates
  in the car. The airspeed you don't have.
 
  Flying is the perfect vocation for a man who wants to feel like a boy,
  but not for one who still is.
 
  Asking what a pilot thinks about the FAA is like asking a fireplug
  what it thinks about dogs.
 
  Being an airline pilot would be great if you didn't have to go on all
  those trips.
 
  Gravity never loses!  The best you can hope for is a draw!
 
HAND! Have A Nice Day!
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      Ross Sauer    patch@bytehead.com
 
___ Blue Wave/QWK v2.20 [NR]