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From ZZASSGL@CMS.MANCHESTER-COMPUTING-CENTRE.AC.UK Mon Jun  4 15:58:44 1990
From: ZZASSGL@CMS.MANCHESTER-COMPUTING-CENTRE.AC.UK
Newsgroups: sfnet.lists.nuts
Subject: MacJokes
Date: 4 Jun 90 11:43:45 GMT
Reply-To: ZZASSGL@CMS.MANCHESTER-COMPUTING-CENTRE.AC.UK
Distribution: sfnet
Organization: Finnish University & Research Network

Someone emailed me asking if I had any Mac jokes - I widened the
search to anything about Apple and the following is all I could find
in my database.  It seems that Apple and/or Macintosh machines just
don't generate humor!  Prove me wrong.
 
==
A guy goes into a comma and wakes up after 20 years.
first thing he does is call up his broker.
- How's may IBM stock doing?
It's now worth 5 million Dollars.
-
-
- How's my Apple stock doing?
It's now worth 10 million Dollars.
- How's my Lotus stock doing?
It's now worth 15 million Dollars.
 
The guy gets so excited, he almost goes back into comma.
Then he hears a voice: "Please deposit ten thousand Dollars for
the next 5 minutes"...
==
Apple computer owners wear flipflops and hang out on the beach.
IBM computer owners wear white shirts and ties in the summer.
Acorn computer owners wear tweed jackets and brown shoes.
Atari computer owners wear Captain Jet silver caps and carry Zap guns.
Amiga computer owners would like to wear Captain Jet silver caps and
 carry Zap guns but the boss won't let them.
Amstrad computer owners wear a confused expression.
==
Apple legitimised computers for those who don't wear suits.
IBM legitimised computers for those who do wear suits.
Compaq legitimised computers for those who do wear suits, but have a
chip on their shoulders about IBM.
==
Uh-oh. Atarians can't hold a candle to the insecurity of Mac owners. You
rankled Mac owners who feel the need defend yourself, please do so by flaming
in private. And don't start something you can't finish. I'm sure Apple's OS
for the 68000-based Macintoshs will support multitasking just as soon as Jean
Louis-Gasse invents it. In the meantime, do whatever you need to do to make
sure other systems that have advanced the state of personal computers don't
enter your peripheral vision. You'll be a lot happier, we'll be a lot
happier.
--Chuck McManis (cmcmanis@sun.com)
==
"Keeping proprietary and confidential information secret is the key to moving
 the computer industry into the 21st century."
-- Letter from Apple Computer and Rasterops to the Macintosh user community
==
Just about every computer on the market today runs Unix, except the Mac
(and nobody cares about it).
 -- Bill Joy 6/21/85
==
Q: How many Apple/Macintosh Engineers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Just one - He holds the light bulb and the world revolves around him.
==

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