Article 8890 of rec.humor:
Path: utu.fi!tut!ra!abo.fi!vsaariokari
From: vsaariokari@abo.fi
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Another computer dictionary
Message-ID: <6797.26588f4e@abo.fi>
Date: 22 May 90 01:01:02 GMT
References: <648@lee.SEAS.UCLA.EDU> <1990May15.094318.7607@agate.berkeley.edu> <2247@uop.uop.edu>
Organization: Abo Akademi University, Finland
Lines: 49
Beginners Guide to Computer Language
BIT : A word used to describe computers,as in 'Our son's computer
cost quite a bit '
BOOT : What your friends give you because you spend too much time
bragging about your computer skills
BUG : What your eyes do after you stare at the tiny green computer
screen for more than 15 minutes. Also: what computer magazine
do to you after they get your name on their mailing list
CHIP : The fattening, non-nutritional food computer users eat to
avoid having to leave their keyboard for meals
COPY : What you have to do during school tests because you spend too
much time at the computer and not enough time studying
CURSOR : What you turn into when you can't get your computer to
perform, as in "You $#%&%$#%$% computer!"
DISK : What goes out in your back after bending over a computer
keyboard for seven hours at a clip
DUMP : The place all your former hobbies wind up soon after you install
your computer
ERROR : What you made the first time you walked into a computer
showroom to 'just look'
EXPANSION UNIT : The new room you have to build on to your home to
house your computer and all its peripherials
FILE : What your secretary can now do to her nails six and a half hours
a day, now that the computer does her day's work in 30 minutes
FLOPPY : The condition of a constant computer user's stomach due to
lack of exercise and a steady diet junk food ( see "Chips" )
HARWARE : Tools,such as lawnmowers,rakes and other heavy equipment
you haven't laid a fingeron since getting your computer
IBM : The kind of missile your family members and friends would like
to drop on your computers so you'll pay attention to them again
MENU : What you'll never see again after buying a computer because
you'll be too poor to eat in a restaurant
MONITOR : Often thought to be a word associated with computers,this
word actually refers to those obnoxious kids who always want to
see your hall pass at school
PROGRAMS : Those things you used to look at on your television before
you hooked your computer up to it
RAM : What you do to the side of your computer when it's not
working properly
RETURN : What lots of people do with their computers after only a week
and a half
TERMINAL : A place where you can find buses,trains and really good
deals on hot computers
WINDOW : What you heave the computer out of after you accidentally erase
a program that took you three days to set up
( With courtesy of Alfred.E.Neumann )
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