From beowulf@wam.umd.edu (amealuh) Sun Aug 30 13:08:07 EDT 1992
Article: 588 of alt.backrubs
Newsgroups: alt.backrubs
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From: beowulf@wam.umd.edu (amealuh)
Subject: Re: How to ask a friend.
Message-ID: <1992Aug30.151110.1225@wam.umd.edu>
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Date: Sun, 30 Aug 1992 15:11:10 GMT
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In article <1992Aug30.002330.1@vaxb.acs.unt.edu> roger@vaxb.acs.unt.edu (Roger 'Not the Rabbit' Cook) writes:
>I am at college, and sometimes I get stressed out.  What is the most polite way
>to ask for a backrub? I could use one quite a bit.
>

	1) party A finds a party B that is willing to dispense a backrub.
	2) after appropriate conversation, party A Pops The Question.

the problem that usually results is that party A never makes it past step 1,
but that's okay. you could take the direct approach and just throw someone to
the ground and demand comfort.

george bush: Not a backrub. Wouldn't be prudent.
dan quayle: B-A-C-K-R-U-B...E?
bill clinton: Well, I'll admit she touched my back, but she didn't RUB it.
h ross perot: Don't worry. I have 3 billion in the bank.



-- 
		I don't love you anymore since you ate my dog.
beowulf@wam.umd.edu					    beowulf@eng.umd.edu
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From mcnutt@gateway.ce.utk.edu (Bill McNutt) Wed Apr 27 18:36:32 EDT 1994
Article: 2752 of alt.backrubs
Newsgroups: alt.backrubs
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From: mcnutt@gateway.ce.utk.edu (Bill McNutt)
Subject: Re: cracking joints
Message-ID: <1994Apr27.172800.27592@martha.utcc.utk.edu>
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X-Newsreader: WinVN version 0.82
References: <1994Apr25.034318.23801@mnemosyne.cs.du.edu>  <1994Apr26.105241.10143@cabell.vcu.edu>
Date: Wed, 27 Apr 1994 17:28:00 GMT
Lines: 8

>>A professional surgeon once told me, that cracking my knucles isn't
>   ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
>>dangerous. Hope this answers your question.. Doesn't sound very reliable,
>
>I assume that the recreational variety frequents your hospital as
>well?  ;-)  
>
Well, he COULD have been a RETIRED surgeon.


From barnes@cheshire.oxy.edu Fri May 27 09:19:45 EDT 1994
Article: 2910 of alt.backrubs
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From: barnes@cheshire.oxy.edu (Polita Christina Barnes)
Newsgroups: alt.backrubs
Subject: Re: Hard penis during back rub
Date: 26 May 1994 20:36:06 -0700
Organization: Occidental College, Los Angeles, CA 90041  USA
Lines: 12
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NNTP-Posting-Host: cheshire.oxy.edu

In article <2s32np$gti@elvis.umd.umich.edu>,
danielle pasiuk  wrote:

>When I'm involved in a back rub, I always wear nothing but a pair of silky
>pantyhose, and I have the guy wear nothing more than boxer shorts, or be naked.


Yes dear, you've told us about eighty times now.  I think that we have it
pretty much down pat now....Okay?





From aj883@FreeNet.Carleton.CA Fri May 27 09:19:50 EDT 1994
Article: 2915 of alt.backrubs
Newsgroups: alt.backrubs
Path: falcon.ccs.uwo.ca!torn!nott!cunews!freenet.carleton.ca!FreeNet.Carleton.CA!aj883
From: aj883@FreeNet.Carleton.CA (Bruce Clement)
Subject: Re: Hard penis during back rub
Message-ID: 
Sender: news@freenet.carleton.ca
Reply-To: aj883@FreeNet.Carleton.CA (Bruce Clement)
Organization: Pantyhose Rubs Inc.
References: <940526.203558.27508@cheshire.oxy.edu> <2s32np$gti@elvis.umd.umich.edu>
Date: Fri, 27 May 1994 12:25:54 GMT
Lines: 16



In a previous article, barnes@cheshire.oxy.edu (Polita Christina Barnes) says:

>In article <2s32np$gti@elvis.umd.umich.edu>,
>
>Yes dear, you've told us about eighty times now.  I think that we have it
>pretty much down pat now....Okay?
>
I dunno...I've only seen it about ten times...maybe my news machine
is acting up again.  Damn.
-- 
"And if your head explodes with dark forebodings too...
    ....I'll see you on the Dark Side Of The Moon" - Pink Floyd

Bruce Clement - National Research Council  bruce.clement@nrc.ca


From af017@FreeNet.Carleton.CA (David R. Smith) Fri Jul 29 08:04:15 EDT 1994
Article: 3354 of alt.backrubs
Newsgroups: alt.backrubs
Path: newshost.uwo.ca!torn!nott!cunews!freenet.carleton.ca!FreeNet.Carleton.CA!af017
From: af017@FreeNet.Carleton.CA (David R. Smith)
Subject: medium is massage
Message-ID: 
Sender: news@freenet.carleton.ca (Usenet News Admin)
Organization: The National Capital FreeNet, Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
Date: Fri, 29 Jul 1994 04:40:23 GMT
Lines: 6



the mcluhan message that the massage is the message is
clearly in evidence in this newsgroup.
i daresay.
-- 


From amazon@kisio.esd.sgi.com (Stormwind) Fri Aug 12 14:44:50 EDT 1994
Article: 3430 of alt.backrubs
Newsgroups: alt.backrubs
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From: amazon@kisio.esd.sgi.com (Stormwind)
Subject: Re: Why we do it
Message-ID: 
Keywords: morons in college
Sender: news@odin.corp.sgi.com (Net News)
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Organization: X Industries, Heavy Weapons R&D
References: <32dng2$nn@news.mtu.edu>
Date: Fri, 12 Aug 1994 16:56:21 GMT
Lines: 73

recently we've had a few postings to 
our local net involving a program 
called "CorpSpeak" that translates
plain English into corporate babbletalk.
i've been amusing myself for the last
few days translating it back into plaintext.
here's my stab at this one...

Ben T. Lamorte  wrote:
>Why do we give backrubs?  

...Why do college students love to post
incredibly moronic and inane posts involving
sex to any newsgroup even remotely related
to the human body or human relationships?

>If you're good, like me, you can get in any  
>girl's pants.  

...I'm not getting any at the moment, so I
figured if I try bragging maybe I can coerce
some bubbleheaded freshman into actually letting
me touch her.  I'm also so incredibly immature
that I can't tell the difference between 
massage for stress, massage for injuries, 
massage for the pleasure of touching, and sex.

>This is incentive enough.  

...You have been warned.

>I'm considering studting massage in India and coupling this with Yoga.  

...I'm blowing hot air like crazy so I 
sound really impressive.

>My  
>impetus is sex with very flexible women who have high pain-tolerance

...I haven't the faintest idea how Tab A
fits into Slot B, and I'm hoping this will
attract an educated woman who will deign to 
instruct me.

 somehow, this just isn't nearly as
amusing as corporate babbletalk.

ob.massage: during a week of camping out 
at Oshkosh earlier this month and sleeping
on a bag stuffed with shirts and socks (pillows
are too cumbersome to lug along), this past
week my neck and spine decided to get incredibly
tight.  i paid a little visit to the chiropractor
yesterday, and he demonstrated a chiropractor
approved method for stretching tight muscles
between the shoulder blades.

while standing in a doorframe, reach across
your body and grasp the doorframe on the opposite
side of your body (i.e., if you're using your
left arm, grab the right side of the doorframe
as you face it.).  step forward with the opposite
foot (i.e., while using the left arm, step 
forward with the right foot), and then lean all your
weight into your shoulder so your arm is holding
you up.  there are two ways to do this: you can 
either grab the outside of the frame and lean
sideways, or you can reverse your grip and 
hang onto the inside of the frame, leaning forwards.

				stormwind

				hell's amazon


From hdm7k@galen.med.Virginia.EDU (Howard D. Mallison) Sun Feb 12 11:23:42 EST 1995
Article: 5258 of alt.backrubs
Newsgroups: alt.backrubs
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From: hdm7k@galen.med.Virginia.EDU (Howard D. Mallison)
Subject: Re: QUESTION!!
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Message-ID: 
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References: <1995Feb10.003715@acad.drake.edu>
Date: Sun, 12 Feb 1995 15:39:30 GMT
Lines: 39

vvs001@acad.drake.edu  writes:
> 
> 	I've been giving my boyfriend backrubs quite
> 	frequently nowadays. I find that he tends to 
> 	fall asleep quite easily and quickly when I'm
> 	in the course of giving him one. 
> 	
> 	Does that mean I'm doing it right? Is that
> 	supposed to mean I'm giving a good backrub?
> 	Or is there another reason (besides him being
> 	tired)..
> 	
> 	Thanks!
> 
> 	Maek. 

Maek,
     His falling asleep could mean that he has achieved a level
of trust with you that he feels safe and comfortable, therefore
allowing him to relax and fall asleep so quickly.
     Yes, you're probably massaging him correctly (or at least
close enough for him to not complain.)  Please note the absence 
of screams of pain; if he starts, you're doing something wrong.
     It is possible that he is tired all the time.  However, if
it becomes a serious habit (his falling asleep all the time),
you might want him to check with his doctor.  There are some
medical conditions that cause fatigue that should be treated,
such as mononucleosis (sp?).
     Don't forget, he should give you backrubs as well.  It's
just as enjoyable to give as to receive.  (This, of course,
requires him to be awake...)

Dan II
D
--
Howard D. Mallison II                   ************************************** 
Computer Operations Technician		*     Drawing Under Construction     *
UVa Medical Center Computing		* (to be completed upon retirement)  *
hdm7k@galen.med.virginia.edu		**************************************


From dmd5s@watt.seas.Virginia.EDU (Mr. Frump) Fri Apr 21 08:53:52 EDT 1995
Article: 6031 of alt.backrubs
Newsgroups: alt.binaries.pictures.bodyart,alt.binaries.pictures.astro,alt.binaries.pictures.ascii,alt.binaries.nude.celebrities,alt.beer.like-molson-eh,alt.bbs.powerboard,alt.bbs.lists.d,alt.bbs.ads,alt.backrubs
Path: newshost.uwo.ca!torn!howland.reston.ans.net!gatech!news-feed-1.peachnet.edu!usenet.eel.ufl.edu!usenet.cis.ufl.edu!caen!hearst.acc.Virginia.EDU!murdoch!watt.seas.Virginia.EDU!dmd5s
From: dmd5s@watt.seas.Virginia.EDU (Mr. Frump)
Subject: Re: HOT SINGLE GIRLS-YOUR AREA 
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Status: R

D+U Bookstore  writes:
> On Mon, 17 Apr 1995, Matt J. Manint wrote:
> > > Yes, but why are these single girls hot? 
> > > 
> > > ...Chernobyl?
> > 
> > Thievery?
> > 
> Cayenne??
> 
Probably gasoline and a zippo.


From bh295@FreeNet.Carleton.CA (Lee Murray) Tue Apr 25 13:48:10 EDT 1995
Article: 6055 of alt.backrubs
Newsgroups: alt.backrubs
Path: newshost.uwo.ca!torn!nott!cunews!freenet.carleton.ca!FreeNet.Carleton.CA!bh295
From: bh295@FreeNet.Carleton.CA (Lee Murray)
Subject: Re: backrubs and messages
Message-ID: 
Sender: bh295@freenet3.carleton.ca (Lee Murray)
Reply-To: bh295@FreeNet.Carleton.CA (Lee Murray)
Organization: The National Capital FreeNet
References: <950421183417912@dojo.cts.com>  
Date: Mon, 24 Apr 1995 07:48:45 GMT
Lines: 8
Status: R

In a previous posting, Jon Carlson (jon.carlson@dojo.cts.com) writes:
> Hey, my name is Jon.  I was wondering If anyone would give me a
> bacrub/message.  And then maybe even something more!!!
> 

Something more... hmmmm... oh, you mean my bill!

Lee


From Christine Wade  Sat Jun 10 09:37:20 EDT 1995
Article: 6516 of alt.backrubs
Path: newshost.uwo.ca!torn!howland.reston.ans.net!news.sprintlink.net!simtel!news.kei.com!nntp.et.byu.edu!netline-fddi.jpl.nasa.gov!hudson.lm.com!godot.cc.duq.edu!newsfeed.pitt.edu!dbisna.com!psinntp!psinntp!psinntp!psinntp!news.columbia.edu!ciao.cc.columbia.edu!cww1
From: Christine Wade 
Newsgroups: alt.backrubs
Subject: Re: Backrub & Other services needed
Date: Fri, 9 Jun 1995 18:32:33 -0400
Organization: Columbia University
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On 8 Jun 1995, joshua wrote:

> I'm an attractive 29 yr old male in the St. Louis area looking for my first paid professional adult
> experience.  I will pay, please E-mail me if your a young white attractive
> woman between 20-33
> thanks


	Does anyone else wonder about the definition of the term 
"attractive" when you see these things?  Some of Gary Larson's work
always comes to mind for me....