WASHINGTON'S RULES OF CIVILITY & DECENT BEHAVIOUR
IN COMPANY AND CONVERSATION

1st     EVERY action done in company ought to be with some sign of
        respect to those that are present.

2nd     WHEN in company, put not your hands to any part of the body,
        not usually discovered.

3rd     SHOW nothing to your friend that may affright him.

4th     IN the presence of others sing not to yourself with a humming
        noise, nor drum with your fingers or feet.

5th     IF you cough, sneeze, sigh, or yawn, do it not loud but privately;
        and speak not in your yawning, but put your handkerchief or hand
        before your face and turn aside.

6th     SLEEP not when others speak, sit not when others stand, speak
        not when you should hold your peace, walk not on when others
        stop.

7th     PUT not off your clothes in the presence of others, nor go out
        your chamber half dressed.

8th     AT play and at fire it is good manners to give place to the last
        comer, and affect not to speak louder than ordinary.

9th     SPIT not in the fire, nor stoop low before it.  Neither put your
        hands into the flames to warm them, nor set your feet upon the
        fire, especially if there be meat before it.

10th    WHEN you sit down, keep your feet firm and even, without
        putting one on the other or crossing them.

11th    SHIFT not yourself in the sight of others nor gnaw your nails.

12th    SHAKE not the head, feet, or legs; roll not the eyes; lift not one
        eyebrow higher than the other; wry not the mouth; and bedew no
        man's face with your spittle by approaching too near him when
        you speak.

13th    KILL no vermin as fleas, lice, ticks &c in the sight of others; if
        you see any filth or thick spittle, put your foot dexterously upon
        it; if it be upon the clothes of your companions, put it off
        privately; and if it be upon your own clothes, return thanks to him
        who puts it off.

14th    TURN not your back to others especially in speaking; jog not the
        table or desk on which another reads or writes; lean not upon any
        one.

15th    KEEP your nails clean and short, also your hands and teeth clean,
        yet without showing any great concern for them.

16th    DO not puff up the cheeks; loll not out the tongue, rub the hands,
        or beard, thrust out the  lips, or bite them, or keep the lips too
        open or close.

17th    BE no flatterer; neither play with any that delights not to be
        played  with.
18th    READ no letters, books, or papers in company; but when there is
        a necessity for the doing of it, you must ask leave.  Come not near
        the books or writings of another so as to read them or give your
        opinion of them unasked; also look not nigh when another is
        writing a letter.

19th    LET your countenance be pleasant, but in serious matters
        somewhat grave.

20th    THE gestures of the body must be suited to the discourse you are
        upon.

21st    REPROACH none for the infirmities of nature, nor delight to put
        them that have in mind thereof.

22nd    SHOW not yourself glad at the misfortune of another, though he
        were your enemy.

23rd    WHEN you see a crime punished, you may be inwardly pleased,
        but always show pity to the suffering offender.

24th    DO not laugh too much or too loud in public.

25th    SUPERFLUOUS compliments and all affectation of ceremony are
        to be avoided, yet where due, they are not to be neglected.

26th    IN pulling off your hat to persons of distinction, as noblemen,
        justices, churchmen, &c, make a reverence, bowing more or less
        according to the custom of the better bred and quality of the
        person.  Among your equals, expect not always that they should
        begin with you first, but to pull off your hat when there is no
        need is affectation; in the matter of saluting, and resaluting in
        words, keep to the most usual custom.

27th    TIS ill manners to bid one more eminent than yourself be covered
        as well as not to do it to whom it's due; likewise, he that makes
        too much haste to put on his hat does not well, yet he ought to
        put it on at the first, or at most the second time of being asked.
        Now what is herein spoken, of qualification in behavior in
        saluting, ought to be observed in taking of place, and sitting down
        for ceremonies without bounds is troublesome.

28th    IF anyone come to speak to you while you are sitting, stand up,
        though he be your inferior; and when you present seats, let it be
        to everyone according to his degree.

29th    WHEN you meet with one of greater quality than yourself, stop,
        and retire, especially if it be a door or any straight place to give
        way for him to pass.

30th    IN walking, the highest place in most countries seems to be on
        the right hand, therefore, place yourself on the left of him whom
        you desire to honour; but if three walk together, the mid place is
        the most honourable; the wall is usually given to the most worth
        if two walk together.

31st    IF any one far surpasses others, either in age, estate, or merit, yet
        would give place to one meaner than himself in his own lodging,
        the one ought not to accept it; so he, on the other hand, should
        not use much earnestness nor offer it above once or twice.

32nd    TO one that is your equal, or not much inferior, you are to give
       the chief place in your lodging; and he to who it is offered ought
        at the first to refuse it, but at the second to accept, though not
        without acknowledging his own unworthiness.

33rd    THEY that are in dignity or in office have in all places
        precedency; but whilst they are young, they ought to respect those
        that are their equals in birth or other qualities, though they have
        no public charge.

34th    IT is good manners to prefer them to whom we speak before
        ourselves, especially if they be above us with whom in no sort we
        ought to begin.

35th    LET your discourse with men of business be short and
        comprehensive.

36th    ARTIFICERS & persons of low degree ought not to use many
        ceremonies to Lords or others of high degree, but respect and
        highly honor them; and those of high degree ought to treat them
        with affability & courtesy, without arrogance.

37th    IN speaking to men of quality, do not lean nor look them full in
        the face, nor approach too near them, at least keep a full pace
        from them.

38th    IN visiting the sick, do not presently play the physician if you be
        not knowing therein.

39th    IN writing or speaking, give every person his due title according
        to his degree & the custom of the place.

40th    STRIVE not with your superiors in argument, but always submit
        your judgment to others with modesty.

41st    UNDERTAKE not to teach your equal in the art himself
        professes, it savours of arrogance.

42nd    LET thy ceremonies in courtesy be proper to the dignity of his
        place with who thou converses, for it is absurd to act the same
        with a clown and a prince.

43rd    DO not express joy before one sick or in pain, for that contrary
        passion will aggravate his misery.

44th    WHEN a man does all he can though it succeeds not well blame
        not him that did it.

45th    BEING to advise or reprehend any one, consider whether it ought
        to be in public or private, presently or at some other time, in what
        terms to do it; and in reproving show no sign of choler, but do it
        with all sweetness and mildness.

46th    TAKE all admonitions thankfully in what time or place so ever
        given, but afterwards, not being culpable, take time & place
        convenient to let him know it that gave them.

47th    MOCK not nor jest at any thing of importance; break no jests that
        are sharp biting; and if you deliver any thing witty and pleasant,
        abstain form laughing thereat yourself.

48th    WHEREIN you reprove another be unblamable yourself, for
        example is more prevalent than precepts.

49th    USE no reproachful language against any one; neither curse nor
        revile.

50th    BE not hasty to believe flying reports to the disparagement of
        any.

51st    WEAR not your clothes foul, ripped or dusty, but see that they be
        brushed once every day, at least, and take heed that you approach
        not to any uncleanness.

52nd    IN your apparel be modest and endeavour to accommodate nature;
        rather than to procure admiration, keep to the fashion of your
        equals, such as are civil and orderly with respect to times and
        places.

53rd    RUN not in the streets; neither go too slowly nor with mouth
        open; go not shaking your arms; kick not the earth with your feet;
        go not upon the toes nor in a dancing fashion.

54th    PLAY not the peacock, looking everywhere about you, to see if
        you be well decked, if your shoes fit well, if your stockings sit
        neatly, and clothes handsomely.

55th    EAT not in the streets or in the house out of season.

56th    ASSOCIATE yourself with men of good quality, if you esteem
        your own reputation; for it is better to be alone than in bad
        company.

57th    IN walking up and down in a house, only with one in company if
        he be greater than yourself, at the first give him the right hand and
        stop not till he does and be not the first that turns; and when you
        do turn let it be with your face towards him; if he be a man of
        great quality, walk not with him cheek by joul, but somewhat
        behind him, but yet in such a manner that he may easily speak to
        you.

58th    LET your conversation be without malice or envy, for it is a sign
        of a tractable and commendable nature; and in all cases of passion
        admit reason to govern.

59th    NEVER express anything unbecoming nor act against the rules
        moral before your inferiors.

60th    BE not immodest in urging your friends to discover a secret.

61st    UTTER not base and frivolous things amongst grave and learned
        men; nor very difficult questions or subjects among the ignorant;
        or with things hard to be believed, stuff not your discourse with
        sentences, amongst your betters nor equals.

62nd    SPEAK not of doleful things in a time of mirth or at the table;
        speak not of melancholy things as death and wounds, and if
        others mention them, change if you can the discourse.  Tell not
        your dreams, but to your intimate friend.

63rd    A MAN ought not to value himself of his achievements or rare
        qualities of wit, much less of his riches, virtue or kindred.

64th    BREAK not a jest where none take pleasure in mirth; laugh not
        aloud, nor at all without occasion; deride no man's misfortune,
       though there seems to be some cause.

65th    SPEAK not injurious words, neither in jest or earnest; scoff at
        none although they give occasion.

66th    BE not forward but friendly and courteous; be the first to salute,
        hear, and answer; & be not pensive when it's time to converse.

67th    DETRACT not from others; neither be excessive in commanding.

68th    GO not thither, where you know not, whether you shall be
        welcome or not.  Give not advice without being asked & when
        desired do it briefly.

69th    IF two contend together, take not the part of either unconstrained;
        and be not obstinate in your own opinion; in things indifferent be
        of the major side.

70th    REPREHEND not the imperfections of others, for that belongs to
        parents, masters, and superiors.

71st    GAZE not on the marks or blemishes of others and ask not how
        they came.  What you may speak in secret to your friend, deliver
        not before others.

72nd    SPEAK not in an unknown tongue in company, but in your own
        language and that as those of quality do and not as the vulgar.
        Sublime matters treat seriously.

73rd    THINK before you speak; pronounce not imperfectly nor bring
        out your words too  hastily, but orderly & distinctly.

74th    WHEN another speaks be attentive yourself and disturb not the
        audience; if any hesitates in his words, help him not, nor prompt
        him without desired; interrupt him not, nor answer him till his
        speech be ended.

75th    IN the midst of discourse ask not of what one treateth, but if you
        perceive any stop because of your coming you may well intreat
        him gently to proceed.  If a person of quality comes in while you
        are conversing, it is handsome to repeat what was said before.

76th    WHILE you are talking, point not with your finger at him of
        whom you discourse nor approach too near him to whom you
        talk, especially to his face.

77th    TREAT with men at fit times about business; and whisper not in
        the company of others.

78th    MAKE no comparisons; and if any of the company be
        commended for any brave act of virtue, commend not another for
        the same.

79th    BE not apt to relate news if you know not the truth thereof.  In
        discoursing of things you have heard, name not your author;
        always a secret discover not.

80th    BE not tedious in discourse or in reading unless you find the
        company pleased therewith.

81st    BE not curious to know the affairs of others; neither approach
        those that speak in private.

82nd    UNDERTAKE not what you cannot perform, but be careful to
        keep your promise.

83rd    WHEN you deliver a matter do it with passion & with discretion,
        however mean the person be you do it to.

84th    WHEN your superiors talk to any body, hearken not neither
        speak nor laugh.

85th    IN company of those of higher quality than yourself, speak not
        until your are asked a question, then stand upright, put of your
        hat & answer in few words.

86th    IN disputes, be not so desirous to overcome as not to give liberty
        to each one to deliver his opinion and submit to the judgment of
        the major part, especially if they are judges of the dispute.

87th    LET thy carriage be such as becomes a man:  grave, settled, and
        attentive to that which is spoken.  Contradict not at every turn
        what others say.

88th    BE not tedious in discourse, make not many digressions, nor
        repeat often the same manner of discourse.

89th    SPEAK not evil of the absent, for it is unjust.

90th    BEING set at meat, scratch not; neither spit, cough or blow your
        nose, except if there is a necessity for it.

91st    MAKE no show of taking great delight in your victuals; feed not
        with greediness; cut your bread with a knife; lean not on the
        table; neither find fault with what you eat.

92nd    TAKE no salt, nor cut your bread with your knife greasy.

93rd    ENTERTAINING anyone at the table it is decent to present him
        with meat; undertake not to help others undesired by the master.

94th    IF you soak your bread in the sauce, let it be no more than what
        you put in your mouth at a time; and blow not your broth at table
        but stay till it cools of itself.

95th    PUT not your meat to your mouth with your knife in your hand;
        neither spit forth the stones of any fruit pie upon a dish nor cast
        anything under the table.

96th    IT is unbecoming to stoop too much to one's meat.  Keep your
        fingers clean & when foul, wipe them on a corner of your table
        napkin.

97th    PUT not another bit into your mouth till the former be swallowed.
        Let not your morsels be too big.

98th    DRINK not, nor talk with your mouth full; neither gaze about you
        while you are drinking.

99th    DRINK not too leisurely, nor yet too hastily; before and after
        drinking, wipe your lips; breath not then or ever with too great a
        noise, for it is uncivil.

100th   CLEANSE not your teeth with the table cloth napkin, fork, or
       knife; but if others do it, let it be done with a pick tooth.

101st   RINSE not your mouth in the presence of others.

102nd   IT is out of use to call upon the company often to eat; nor need
        you drink to others every time you drink.

103rd   IN company of your betters, be not longer in eating than they are;
        lay not your arm but only your hand upon the table.

104th   IT belongs to the chiefest in company to unfold his napkin and
        fall to meat first, but he ought then to begin in time & to dispatch
        with dexterity that the slowest may have time allowed him.

105th   BE not angry at table whatever happens, and if you have reason to
        be so, show it not; put on a cheerful countenance especially if
        there be strangers, for good humour makes one dish of meat a
        feast.

106th   SET not yourself at the upper end of the table; but if it be your
        due or that the master of the house would have it so, contend not,
        least you should trouble the company.

107th   IF others talk at the table, be attentive; but talk not with meat in
        your mouth.

108th   WHEN you speak of God or his attributes, let it be seriously &
        with reverence.  Honour & obey your natural parents although
        they be poor.

109th   LET your recreations be manful not sinful.

110th   LABOUR to keep alive in your breast that little celestial fire
        called conscience.